As an eighteen-year-old teenage girl, I really like to ask the question, “Why?”. I have gotten into a bad habit of asking God that very question instead of putting my trust in Him and I'm always second-guessing what He is doing in my life:
"Why am I going to this college? Is it the right one?"
"Why am I being treated this way? What have I done?"
I am not a person of much trust because of some things that have happened through my life with friends and family. Therefore, when people tell me just to put my trust in God, it really takes a lot of work for me to do so.
Here lately I have been questioning everything God has led me to do. I just begin to overthink like I usually do and wonder why God would be doing these things to me or to my friends. I always feel bad after I question God because I know He knows better than I do, but my simple human mind cannot help but question everything that’s happening in my life right now. I think a lot of it has to do with the amount of change that is occurring right now. I am eighteen, alone at college, my friends have all moved off, I have to “adult”, and I have to take care of myself. So much is happening in such a short amount of time and I stay up late at night overthinking everything God is doing.
I usually can sit and talk to God as if He were sitting right beside me and it seems like He talks back, but right now He is as quiet as a mouse. I have come to realize that it’s through hard times that God is quiet, but after I get through the storm I am able to look back and see just how hard He worked with me the entire time. I know God is leading me on the right path and that going to my university is going to be a great chapter in my book. I cannot wait to look back and see just how much he does through me and for me afterwards.
It seems like when I take the time to chill out my overactive mind and take a breather, God shows up and reveals why everything has been going on. He’s shown me that college is hard, but to that I need to keep my eyes focused on the end goal. I am assured that through Him I will persevere through the hard times and get my doctorate in pharmacology.
Asking "why?" is normal, but don’t forget to look back and get your answer as to why He did what He did.
