We all want to breathe easy without burdens resting on our shoulders, weighing us down. We long for the days we don’t fixate on our regret or look in the rearview mirror. We are all trying to let go of someone or something. Whether it is an ex-boyfriend, a lost friend, a disconnected parent, a mistake you’ve made—anything that is toxic to your well being—you cannot flip a switch and suddenly feel nothing. It’s an art of letting go.
I’ve always been the type to let toxic relationships linger; I’ve always spent a little too much time in the past. I’ve come to realize that I held onto the things that were not fit for me because I was scared of the unknown and found contentment in the familiar. I held onto past friendships because I didn’t think I would find a similar connection again. I held onto the pictures and notes of an old boyfriend because I found comfort in the memories we made. We go back to these places in time and revel in what used to be for some temporal satisfaction. But these memories and people we visit only exist in the past; they are no longer part of our present. How twisted is it that we are stuck to the parts of us that bring us the most pain? Not only that, but we visit these places that aren’t even a reality. It does no good to visit a world that you can never change.
As I’ve gotten older and what seems to be a little bit wiser, I have found myself discovering a new kind of happiness by understanding that I am finally embracing a state of mind that feels a sense of security in letting go. I began to understand that I was not as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it. I think it’s important to take an inventory of your life and what is in it. We all have these things we hang onto that are not useful and strip us of our personal freedom. These are the weights on our shoulders. Recognize what they are, and let them go. If anything, we should be eager to leave what is familiar for what is true. And if my mere 19 years of experience have taught me anything, it’s this: you can never run away. The only way out is in, the only way to move on is to recognize and release.
When it comes to people, of course you never really forget anyone, but you certainly free them from your mind. You stop allowing your history to have any meaning for your present; you let them live their life, as you do yours. And when this person visits you in your mind, you have no reason to be sad. The person you once knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again. You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them, but you can still move on without them.
At the end of the day, whatever life takes away from you, let it go. Sometimes what you are most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free. Find, recognize, and release the toxicity in your life, whatever it may be. If you should find comfort in anything, let it be this: Everything you went through, and will go through, the good and the bad, has always been a part of something much bigger. It has made you who you are, and will continue to do so.
