How To Best Appreciate Yourself, Your Friends, & Relationships

How To Best Appreciate Yourself, Your Friends, & Relationships

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Just because Galentine's and Valentine's day is over, doesn't mean it's too late to show love to all the important people in your lives. Living my post-graduate life means that it's often hard to find time to see my friends who in addition to their careers, usually have extra things going on for them. Such examples of extra things include higher education, obtaining certifications, or even improving personal goals - such as fitness or wellness.

At times like this, it's important to remember to concentrate on the positives. Unlike school, or maybe even college, social interactions are seldom as frequent. However, that doesn't mean that lack of interaction equates to emotional distance in a relationship. Expressing gratitude - either through technology, or saving it for in-person interactions are an easy way to let people that they're appreciated.

That being said, it's still important for you and your friends to take the initiative to hang out. Even with both parties being busy, just scheduling simple, technology-free activities such as coffee or dinner, can be a big step. What's more important is feeling present with your peers. If possible, try to aim for a certain amount in a month.

Just like people have different ways of showing love, people also have different ways of expressing appreciation. As mentioned, the duration between interactions can be a bigger deal for some people, as opposed to others. When types of interactions or conversations get too mundane or repetitive, maybe it's time to analyze the relationship, or else directly communicate what you would like to do differently. I have certain friends I do different things with. For example, not all my friends are "concert" people, and lots of us have differing music tastes. However, I often find myself doing similar things with the same people - due to our overlapping interests. Changing this routine up not only creates fresh experiences, but you can learn more about your friends.

Don't expect that other people may see the same gaps in your relationship with them as you might. But truly, no one can read minds, and chances are the person may have had similar thoughts - or else cares enough about your relationship with you enough to make you happy.

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I Asked 10 Girls 'Why Are Guys Dumb' And Now I’ve Made Some New Best Friends To Day Drink With

Who needs a boyfriend when you have your girls by your side?

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I think that all of us ladies can agree in some way that guys are dumb. Either they are bad listeners, break your heart, play games with you, are full of themselves or just overall inconsiderate.

I asked ten girls why they think guys are "dumb" and their answers were pretty great.

1. “Because God made them first and everyone knows that first is the worst and second is the best.”

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Is it not obvious?

2. “Guys are dumb because they’re not girls and that’s the whole reason.”

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Let's be honest here, girls are the best.

3. “I don’t think guys are dumb per say I just think they need to learn to be more understanding and conscious to girls’ feelings.”

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Ya hear that? Ya we're talking to you dude.

4. “Boys can be “dumb” because girls think about things in a much more complex way. We want to fall in love, or we don’t. We want to pick where we want to eat or we don’t. We like affection or we don’t. I think boys are just trying to catch up with us.”

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We may be complicated, but how else are we supposed to keep you on your toes?

5. “I think guys are dumb for not being able to recognize the difference between girls who are good for them and girls who aren’t.”

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For example: When you like a guy who keeps going back to his ex even though he turns into a jerk when he's dating her.

6. “The dumb ones that take a piece of your heart truly make you appreciate and respect the man who rebuilds your heart and makes it beautiful again.”

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It's all about trust.

7. “I think that not all guys are dumb. However, because we live in a broken world, we all make mistakes. The good guys are the ones who are chivalrous and respectful. Ladies, don’t settle for a boy that isn’t showing you love and respect!!! That boy has work to do and its not up to you to fix him!”

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Girl, you need a man, not a boy!

8. “I’ve been stood up on dates before and that felt really inconsiderate”

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Why don't you try thinking of someone else besides yourself for a change.

9. “Guys are dumb because often times they lack consideration for the actions that they take and the way they affect others around them (girlfriends), so basically they don’t really think before they act”

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Is there a brain inside your skull? Use it!

10. “I think guys are dumb because they only care about themselves and their feelings. They do not care how they treat women and hurting them as long as they don’t get hurt they will do whatever they want. There are good guys out there who don’t act this way but they are rare to find. The dumb guys who break your heart will disguise themselves as good guys to get what they want.”

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Quit the act. I just want to know you for you and to find a great guy, is that too much to ask?

So, there you have it fellas. If any of these ten things hit a little close to home, maybe you should reevaluate the way you treat people, especially women.

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To The Girl Telling Herself She Doesn't 'Catch Feelings,' Stop Lying To Yourself

"Catching feels" is not synonymous with a sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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We're all guilty of it. We think we have this incredible Great Wall of China protecting our vulnerability; however, we tend to overestimate its security with defense mechanisms that could potentially hurt us in the long-term, concerning the formation of future relationships.

We must let others in to embrace the process of falling for someone

If you're like me, constantly busy and preoccupied with life's demands (sometimes going days without proper inhalation and exhalation), we become almost numb and ignorant of our emotions, mostly as a result from not putting ourselves out there. But this lack of experience is wrongly mistaken for the notion of attachment resistance. It's OK to focus on yourself, but after a while, it is necessary and fun to reawaken those feelings and jubilant moods associated with falling for someone, because in the midst of life's madness, we often forget how to feel.

Do not attempt to avoid to "catch feels" like it's the plague

We're consistently bombarded with false advice from society to avoid "catching feels," or falling for someone, no matter the costs. Why is it suddenly so frowned upon to actually like someone you met? Why should we feel shame in wanting to continue a relationship with this person? Dating is evidently complicated in the 21st century, but don't let this make you try to consciously repress those newly-formed feelings since repression essentially leads to escalation. Embrace the feels because it's the human thing to do.

Loosen your wall's bricks with vulnerability

Some of our jerk-alert senses are more activated than others, mostly due to past experiences, but it's important to hammer into our heads that they're not all the same.

Stop lying to yourself. No matter how much you repress it, you will feel, you will get attached, and you will allow yourself to do this, despite what the norm is for what "dating" is today. Break off from your defense mechanisms and your wall will slowly follow. Remember: "catching feels" is not synonymous with sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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