Dear past me,

It seems as though I have lost connection with you these last few years. With the hustle and bustle of college, it has been hard to keep myself aligned with what we originally had together. These last two and half years of college have been emotionally, mentally, and physically challenging. I have gone through some rough times and I have not always made the best decisions. Whether it be trying to find where I fit in on campus, wanting to change majors, or thinking about transferring schools, it has been quite the ride.

I know that throughout middle school and high school, you went to church every week and spent a lot of time with the youth group. I'm sorry that I have not been able to keep that up. I'm very sorry that I have let my faith stray away, I realize that I need it more than ever in college. I really do hope to attempt to fix what has been broken.

I'm sorry for holding myself back and retreating back to the quiet and shy girl that you swore you were leaving behind, but I've fixed that - to an extent. I've joined a sorority filled of beautiful women and I've found some of my best friends through the Meteorology department. It just took me a little bit to warm up. I hope that you can see me for the girl I am now and forgive me.

I'm sorry for the heartbreaks. You shouldn't have had to go through that. And although people suck, I have learned so much about myself from them. I promise to stop holding those mistakes over my head. Those guys, and anyone in general, cannot define me, only I can define me. I refuse to let myself be defined with who I have dated and the people that hurt me. I'm deciding from this point on to let that all go and to put my whole heart into the people that matter now, not to be held back by those who don't matter anymore. I want to love as though I've never been hurt - as corny and ridiculous as that sounds.

I'm sorry for the nights that you spent thinking you weren't good enough for your major or for Valparaiso. Crying because you felt like you made a huge mistake in coming here. I hope that you know that I wouldn't change my experience here for the world. That although everything has been bumpy, the opportunities - like Relay for Life - make it all worthwhile. I've learned that you have to go through some sh*t to get to the good stuff - and where I am now is very good. I've picked myself up from the bottom and I'm slowly becoming more and more of the Meteorologist and Crusader that I've wanted to be since the beginning.

I'm sorry that you have lost friends from high school. I know that you came into college thinking that you were going to keep those friends, but I want you to know that the friends I have now are the friends that I always dreamed of having. They are always there for me on my worst days and make my best days even better. I wouldn't want 2am Steak and Shake runs or late nights in the Weather Center with anyone else. And although sometimes it is easy to miss my old friends, I know that they are happy too and that is truly all I ever wanted for them. So it seems as though we've all found our places.

To conclude, I hope that you can begin to forgive me and let me move on from these worries and "I'm sorry's." I hope that you see that even though we haven't seen eye to eye lately, that life is going the way that God planned and that everything is going to turn out in the end. We all make mistakes, but we all deserve to be forgiven and to move on.

So will you forgive me and allow me to adventure on?

Sincerely, 2017 Me