During my first week in college, I had to attend a variety of information sessions and fill out a considerable amount of paperwork. By my second day, I was feeling overwhelmed. I rushed into the work study session a wreck; I was late and missing paperwork. In my mind, it was a disaster. I hadn't even started classes and I'd already messed up. I braced myself for the, "you're in college now, you need to be responsible," speech. Instead, I got quite the opposite. I sat down with one of the women working and began going through my forms. On several lines, I had forgotten to sign my name. I quickly apologized and grabbed a pen. She stopped me and looked me dead in the eye. "Honey, don't apologize, " she said, "we as women apologize far too often, for no reason. You've done nothing wrong. You don't need to say sorry." I went into that session expecting a lecture, but instead I got a life lesson. It got me thinking. How often do I apologize for things I shouldn't?
I make mistakes. Sometimes I say things I shouldn't and do things I shouldn't. However, I am only human. I should not have to apologize for the things that make me who I am. My feelings are my own, defined by my experiences and my surroundings. I should never feel guilty for how I feel. Nobody should. Your life, your emotions, your fears, your interests, your religion - they are all yours. Embrace it. Do not feel the need to explain yourself to anyone. When you apologize for being yourself, you are essentially implying that you need to be forgiven for who you are. The right people will understand you just the way you are, and will accept the things that they cannot understand. If you feel the need to apologize to someone for how you act or feel, then maybe that person isn't someone you should let into your life.
Obviously, there are times where it is perfectly appropriate and necessary to apologize. If you hurt someone's feelings, apologize. If you are late to meet someone, apologize. If you bump into someone, apologize. Recognizing when it is appropriate to apologize and reducing how often you do it other times will make each one more meaningful. When we begin to apologize for every small thing we do wrong, the words "I'm sorry" begin to lose their value. If you apologize for every little thing, then apologies for the big things may not carry the same weight. Save your words for when you truly are regretful and truly deserve forgiveness.
I am proud of who I am, and that is not something I will apologize for anymore. Stand up for yourself, and stand by your beliefs. Do not let the opinions of others deter you from being who you are. Accept everyone just as they are. And most importantly, know that when I say I'm sorry, I truly mean it.
