Within the first few minutes of Saturday morning, Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump released an official apology for the offensive comments he made about women in a video from 2005.
The political world waited patiently for hours in front of their TVs, with strategists from opposing sides raising questions about the original video that demanded to be answered. And when the moment finally came for Donald to make his own comment, most of us were disappointed, to say the least. Among us was Republican strategist, Kevin Madden, who even asked, "That took 10 hours?"
Yes, it did, Kevin. And it was underwhelming to say the least. It was brushed off by Trump as "locker-room talk" and described as being reminiscent of a "hostage video" and "forced" by GOP strategists. Meanwhile, plenty of other people raced to either condemn or excuse Trump's actions and share their own opinions on the matter:
And say what you will about all of that, but I actually learned a lot from this whole thing. No, really. I learned a lot about how to apologize by listening to Donald Trump's. So without further ado, here are the four things I learned about apologies from "The Donald":
1. I learned that you don't have to actually APOLOGIZE for it to be an apology. You just have it SAY you're apologizing.
Donald Trump: "I said it, I was wrong, and I apologize."
Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "Apology -- a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure." That means there has to be some heart behind it, and in the video there as anything but. Yes, Donald, you said it and you are wrong. But you did not apologize.
2. Your apologies actually DON'T have to be about your offensive action.
Donald Trump: "I've traveled the country talking about change for America, but my travels have also changed me...I have gotten to know the great people of our country, and I've been humbled by the faith they've placed in me."
That's a relief, right? If you're going to apologize #DonaldTrumpStyle, make sure you pivot around the actual thing you're supposed to be apologizing for. Otherwise, you might end up giving someone a real apology.
3. Apologies can be swept under the rug if they're about things that are not THAT important.
Donald Trump: "Let's be honest -- we're living in the real world. This is nothing more than a distraction from the important issues we're facing today."
Saying this suggests that you can be justified in issuing an insincere apology if you don't think what you're apologizing for is really that serious. Saying this takes away from the validity of the other person's feelings. When you say this, you're actually saying, "Sorry, not sorry."
4. The best apologies make you focus on OTHER people's shortcomings.
Donald Trump: "I've said some foolish things, but there's a big difference between words and actions of other people. Bill Clinton has actually abused women, and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed, and intimidated his victims."
You know the best way to make people forget you did something wrong? Shift the blame onto someone else! I mean, who can remember the time I said something when someone else "actually" did what I said? I mean, clearly that other person is more wrong than I am, if I'm holding my imperfections to Donald's standards.
Hopefully "The Donald" has taught you as much as he's taught me about real apologies. And he isn't the only one who apologizes like this; he's just the one running for President.
