About a year ago, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It sucked. Nobody wants to be 23 years old, living with a condition that causes you to sometimes curl up in a fetal position and cry because of the excruciating physical pain your body is enduring. But it happened, and eventually my body adjusted and I was able to return to normal life....physically. But with my condition, came another mentally painful disorder.  

Living with an anxiety disorder, well...it sucks. But you know what also sucks? Being in a relationship with someone who has an anxiety disorder. For a few months, I caught myself questioning, is it okay to in a relationship when some nights I wake myself up and for no reason at all, feel incapable of thinking clearly and breathing on my own? When sometimes, I just need my boyfriend to answer his phone in the middle of the night to help me breathe? Is it fair to those living around me to suffer through this with me?

The answer is no. It isn't fair. But it also isn't fair to us. 

Here's what anxiety feels like to me;

My anxiety usually makes my mind switch back and forth convincing me that things are much worse than they really are.  Meanwhile, I try hard to calm myself down....but it's impossible.

Anxiety also sends me into a depression that causes me to hate myself.  I hate myself because I feel out of control, I feel crazy and irrational 75% of the day sometimes.  This depression, is the worst part. It causes me to want to detach from the world around me, including the people I love the most. And as a result, I end up feeling alone with my illness. I end up feeling to nervous to open up and talk to those who are closest to me and telling them what it is I need from them. I end up feeling needy, repulsed... yet I can't help it. 

If you love someone living with a anxiety disorder, here are some things to remember;

WE CANNOT CONTROL IT. If we could, I assure you, we would not be having anxiety attacks that wake us up at 3 am for no reason. So, please, if you are close to someone, or in a relationship with someone living with a severe anxiety disorder, take a moment to read over some advice to help them, and you, get through it.

Anxiety already makes us believe we're crazy when we're not, so please, don't tell us to calm down, that we are overreacting, that worrying won't make things better, that we're being irrational, or dramatic. We already feel this way, which is why it makes it so hard for us to reach out to others.

Anxiety will come at the most inconvenient times, for both you, and for us. So please, just be patient, it will pass,and we'll be back to normal. But try your best to patient and understanding. 

Sometimes, we just need you to listen. There are times we need you to hold us, and times we need to be left alone. And know that sometimes, you'll be the trigger. But please, please, please, don't take it personal. Dating someone with anxiety is difficult. And sometimes we need more attention than you would normally have to give. This doesn't mean you have to be his or her slave, but it does mean when we're under attack, we need you to be there. 

When someone you love is having an anxiety attack, ask them what they need. And my fellow people with anxiety, this is for you -- be open! Communicate to them what it is that you are needing when they ask!

Most of the time, we know what it is we are needing from you to help make it better, but we are too scared to tell you. So please, just let us know that you are there to  genuinely help them in any way that you can. And if we can't tell you, please just be patient and listen. Get to know our illness better.

Every single persons anxiety is different. Try to understand what it is like to have no control over your thoughts and mind. Be there for us.

We need you most, when we feel like we have turned against ourselves.