" Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome." (Google)
Anxiety may be defined like that above, but it is so much more than that. Anxiety is a mental illness that hundreds of thousands of people have. I'm just one of those people, and this is my story with my anxiety.
I was diagnosed with Anxiety when I was 17 and in high school. I never heard of it before then. I knew about mental illnesses, but not enough to actually know what each one meant. It was my junior year in high school. One of the worst years and best years of my life. I just got out of a relationship, and of course people were talking about it. I wish all they did was talk about it, but rumors spread faster than a wild fire in school, and by the end of the day, everyone thought something that was not true.
Even though they were just rumors, a person can only handle so much. I was bullied for more than one reason. People turned away from me; they whispered in classes and the hallway about me and I knew high school had basically become hell. My best friends stopped talking to me and I felt so alone and hopeless. It got so bad, I'd cry driving home from school every day. I went straight to my room and did my homework and went to bed. All I wanted was to be left alone.
That's when I started to have anxiety. It didn't come easy. It was a full blown anxiety attach one day when I walked into the cafeteria and someone called me a slut. Some people started laughing and I just went into a complete panic mode. My chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe. I was so dizzy and felt like I was dying. I walked out of the cafeteria into the hallway. My body felt so tight and kind of like a huge cramp all over my body. My body felt like it was on fire; my hands were shaking. I was in the hallway when someone walked passed me and ran to get the nurse. Once she got to me, I passed out.
That was my first ever anxiety attack. It was terrifying. I didn't know what happened. I woke up two and a half hours later to the nurse asking me what happened. I told her, but it was kind of a blur.
Now, most of the time I get what I call a mini anxiety or panic attack when people are yelling at me, or I'm really stressed, and even when I feel exhausted. I have learned to control it the best I can, but that doesn't mean I don't have anxiety. It's an every day battle, some days I wake up in the middle of an attack; other days I feel no anxiety at all.
Anxiety is a serious mental illness and should always be treated as such. Your brain can get sick, too. To all others who have anxiety, you're not alone. Anxiety sucks, but we can all get through this together.
