At 14 I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and at 18 I was diagnosed with depression. At 19 I started taking medication, and at 21 I finally found the right fit. According to the DSM-5, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is "The presence of excessive anxiety and worry about a variety of topics, events, or activities. Worry occurs more often than not for at least 6 months and is clearly excessive" and "Excessive worry means worrying even when there is nothing wrong, or in a manner that is disproportionate to actual risk." Basically, I get anxious a lot. Usually about things I should never be anxious about. I spend a lot of time worrying about people (is so-and-so going to get home safe? Is this person sick? What if that person gets into an accident?), and I spent a decent amount of time worrying about events (will anything out of the ordinary happen at work today? Should I go to that party? What if I get blackout drunk? Will someone keep me safe if that happens?). I worry about my academics (what if I fail this class? What if I fail this assignment? What if I don't get into my dream graduate program? What if I'm not cut out for this?) and I worry about basically anything that can happen on a day-to-day basis.
Anxiety looks different on every single person. Panic looks different on every person. That's the worst thing about it, really. It's hard to say, "This person is panicking and I need to help them" because you never actually know. When I'm getting anxious I shake. When it grows into panic I cry, usually. Sometimes I freeze. Sometimes I yell, sometimes I just lie down. Sometimes I call someone, sometimes I lock myself in my room for days. Sometimes the only person I'll talk to is my sister and sometimes I'll be talking to some stranger's mother's dog on the street about all my problems.
With GAD, my panic attacks can be about anything. Last month I had an attack because I couldn't find extra light bulbs for my Christmas lights, and it really bothered me that half my lights were out. I've had panic attacks over missing events that I never even planned to go to (or told anyone I would go), I've had panic attacks about a piece of clothing not fitting the way it usually does, I've had attacks about the idea that I might get sick and the idea that, if I spend too much money, I could potentially not have enough to eat for the rest of the week.
Some weeks are worse than others. Mid-terms and finals are bad, the holidays are rough, but there are good times too. Early fall when the leaves are changing colors and late spring when everything is new and fresh. The middle of June when the weather is perfect to go to the beach and the first snowfall of the year.
Just remember that everyone responds to stress differently, and if a person has some sort of anxiety or mood disorder they may not respond in the way you expect them to. They may under or over react (according to your standards). If you want to help them, ask. Ask how you can best help them. Most people assume that when I'm being distant or difficult I want to be left alone, but that's not always the case. A lot of the time I want to talk things out or be distracted somehow.
Through everything, the one thing that has helped me most is the people in my life. I'm lucky enough to have people who care about me and my wellbeing. If you know someone suffering from anxiety or depression the best thing you can do for them is to be there. Be there through everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Stand by them through everything, and they will return the favor.
