I am pretty open about my anxiety. I tell people I have it. I'll talk about what it is exactly. Still, most people I talk to don't understand what anxiety is. They think I'm using it as an excuse. They think I have control of my anxiety. They think I'm dramatic. Pathetic. Faking. Their idea of anxiety is the cute little girl shyly spluttering out an idea in front of class. Or someone being kind of nervous before being the lead of a play.
Anxiety isn't cute. I don't control it. Half the time, it controls me. I'm not using it as an excuse.
Anxiety is running out of a classroom because your professor wants you to perform a monologue and everyone is staring at you. Anxiety is adding ten minutes to your commute because a cop pulled out behind you and you cannot function properly to drive so you avoid them. Anxiety is not being able to throw away your trash because the trashcan is at the front of the store and everyone will see you. Anxiety is a million little things at once and a thousand big things crashing down on you.
Unless you have anxiety yourself, you will never be able to fully understand what it means to have it. You will never know the feeling of not being able to breathe during a panic attack. You won't understand the paralysis that sets into your veins. Even if you have anxiety, you might not understand this. Your anxiety might manifest itself in a different way than I can imagine.
Be kind to those who have anxiety. Try and have some extra patience for them. Even if you think they're faking, humor them. It might be an anthill for you, but a mountain for them. Remember, you never know what is going on inside someone's head. Your experiences are not the same as them, no matter how similar.
