I was shaking and I knew my anxiety was about to make me paralyzed and I couldn't figure out what it was or why it happened, but it gripped me in it's lovely cold, dark, black hands. Everything went blank in my mind and everything went fuzzy; I laid my head down on the table in the library and tried to calm myself down, I couldn't believe it, I hadn't experienced one in so long that I couldn't believe it. In that moment I went through the breathing techniques that I was taught and tried to calm myself down, blocking all the noise from the library and regulating my breathing and to come down from the attack.
I have experienced this multiple times and each time it doesn't get easier; I have tried everything and my one go too anxiety reliever: writing. Anxiety is a very tricky mental illness, it doesn't make me weak and it doesn't make you weak at all. It makes you a survivor that you can get through an attack no matter what the setting is around you, they can come at any time and can sometimes be accompanied by a panic attack. My go too calming technique is blocking every sound and sight from my mind and being completely blank and focusing on regulating or slowing my breathing.
My advice to anyone who is dealing with anxiety is to try and take it one day at a time and to understand that drugs aren't always the answer, whether it be prescribed or illegal; sometimes it's about owning your mind and realizing that it is all in your head. Yes, I know that sounds cliche and every therapist has told you this but deep down understand it, I have and sometimes it's the best way to go through the anxiety attack. The other little bit of advice is to find someone who can talk you down from it to get you out of your head. I have another half and best friend that can get me from a very high anxiety attack back to 'normal'. Whether this person be a boyfriend/husband, best friend, or family member it can help you by distracting you from what brought that anxiety attack on.
It's hard to be driven by anxiety, every thought and emotion is driven by 'could this make me have an attack.' Little things may set your mind off and focus it on one little thing to drive you insane and to invoke an anxiety attack. Anxiety attacks are something you don't just get over they are things that rule your mind and make life a little harder to get through. My go to thing to get through an anxiety attack is writing, yes I know that sounds so weird, but sometimes it is the only thing that can get me off of an attack if there is no other way.
My advice take each day one day at a time, living with a mental illness can be stressful and hard but when you can overcome it and have fewer a week or perhaps a day it can make life so much more easier. So why not pick up a pen and a notebook and write down what your thinking and help yourself get through the scariest part of your anxiety.
