Dear You,
I know what you are thinking. You think that this is it, it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder. You’re thinking that this is the worst thing to happen, that nothing could be more terrible. It seems that there is no way out, nowhere to run to only things to run from. You feel alone yet so overwhelmed when you are in a crowded room. How could that be possible? I don’t know exactly what you are going through, no one ever really does but that doesn’t mean we all don’t know what if feels like to be at our worst.
A little insight because I’m sure you also would say, “What does she know?” So at eighteen years old, my parents were divorced at age seven/eight, I was bullied at nine/ten and had only one friend, in middle school I was bullied by a boyfriend after breaking up, throughout high school people always had problems with me and started rumors, I have been cheated on, and was in a mentally abusive relationship and finally, I had my heart broken. I struggled for a while with having really bad lows as well where I had no ambition to move or do anything. I would just sit and sulk. And just like you, I thought that these were the worst parts of my life.
Maybe you have the same issues or maybe some other ones like you think you’re “too fat” or “too skinny.” Maybe you feel like you can’t get a girlfriend/boyfriend, your parents don’t get you, you are gay, you want to transition, people don’t understand you, maybe you are bullied because of your race, you don’t think your skin color is beautiful, maybe you hate yourself or think you screw everything up! STOP.
Stop, take a step back. Think. Process things. I am here to tell you that it can all change. You can stop believing those things. You can stop feeling those ways. I want you to know, I NEED you to know, that it gets better. We all think that it’s not true. We all think it’s not possible, but it is. You need to look at the bigger picture, do things that make your heart jump and skip a beat, things that keep you on your toes. The simplest things in life can fill you with such joy when you look at it differently.
Start to fall in love with yourself little by little. Start to look at yourself just a little differently. Find something you love, maybe it’s a book then read it 100 times. Maybe you love a song, sing it until your lungs give out. Maybe it’s to draw, to write, to play an instrument, to sing, I don’t really know, but fall in love with it. You’ll start to love yourself more for it. Little by little, you’ll begin to find yourself again. You’ll begin to see yourself in a new way, you’ll BE a new person. It does get better; I swear it does. Maybe you don’t believe it, maybe you don’t think I know what it’s like to feel really low, but I do. And I am seeing the horizon, watching the sun come up for me to have a better happier life and let me just say, it is beautiful. It is wonderful. It feels like being reborn without starting over completely. You will get there, don’t give up please. Please don’t even when it feels like you have no other choice. Eat that extra slice if you want, work out if you feel like it, walk away if its tearing you down and breaking you, speak up when you fee pinned against a wall, speak to people if you feel you cannot escape.
I swear to you, when all else fails the world is still a beautiful place. It is gorgeous when you look past society and people. The ocean, the sky, trees and flowers, all of it is gorgeous. Learn to love it and you’ll learn to love you. You are a product of little cells working together to keep you alive, you are your own little universe to the life inside of you. People need you even when you think they don’t. Everyone is needed by someone, I swear it. Keep a positive mind, feel good vibes, love. Love like you have never loved before and never let go, never let go of what you have worked so hard to become.
Love yourself because I love you.
From,
The Girl Who Thought It Would Never Get Better
