Hey there,
I wish that I could tell you things will get better, but I can't. I wish that I could tell you that the pain you're feeling will eventually go away, but I can't. I wish I could tell you that I understand exactly what you're going through, but I can't as I haven't experienced the same things as you. However, I do know that committing suicide will only make matters worse.
As someone who has had two people close to them commit suicide, the pain you leave behind to others is devastating. People who you hardly knew are impacted by your absence. Those who you leave behind always say "If only they would've reached out." Those who you leave behind never really get over your death. People who knew you constantly question what they could've done to help you.
I want to take you back to the time before you were even born. When your mom found out she was pregnant, she already began to prepare for your coming. When she finally held you in her arms, you gave her an irreplaceable amount of joy. From that point on, you would be called son or daughter. In this moment, you would begin to have an impact on those around you. As you grew, you would start to impact more people. Those who would take care of you would watch grow and mold into the person who you would become. They would see your kind, innocent self and could only wish that your life would stay this simple.
Think back to a time when you made someone's day. Maybe you smiled at someone walking down the street or invited the new kid to sit with you at lunch. What would happen if you hadn't been there?
I know that you're struggling, but I encourage you to reach out. You matter and the world needs you. You can't be replaced. You are loved more than you think. It will take time for your situation to be better. Maybe you can't control the outcomes, but you can control how you handle them.
Don't be afraid to reach out to teachers, school counselors, a mental health center, or even someone you don't know. If you feel that you don't have anyone to talk to, please call the National Prevention Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
The world needs you, superstar. Don't give up now by doing something that's perment for something that's temporary.
