Dear Person Who Took My Unassigned-Assigned Seat,
We’re what? Eight, nine weeks into the semester now? It’s the halfway mark. At this point, we’ve established our daily routines, how long it takes to get from class to class, where we eat on campus and which seats we regularly sit in when we’re in class.
So, that being said, WHY are you in my unassigned-assigned seat?
You’re breaking the flow, the routine, the way of life. By taking my seat, I, in turn, have to take someone else’s unassigned-assigned seat and that person has to take someone else’s unassigned-assigned seat and so on and so forth.
You are single-handedly disrupting the dynamics of this classroom.
There’s an unspoken rule that during the first week of classes — we, the people of this course, in order to form a more better way to get through this boring GenEd, pick our seats in which we sit in for the remainder of the semester. We do not trade seats, we do not move to a new seat each class. That would be called musical chairs. We sit in our unassigned-assigned seats and stay there. We LIKE sitting in our seats; it’s familiar and gives us a sense of order.
What we have established, you have broken and nobody is happy.
Without our unassigned-assigned seats, we are a lost cause. We don’t know what to do, where to sit or how to live and thrive in this course. You are forcing us to go rogue. We are all silently staring at you, the person who upset the space and time continuum, and are judging you to the highest degree of confusion on why you would so stupidly decide to sit in a different seat.
Who hurt you?
What provoked you to make such a move?
Is this a permanent decision of yours?
Why are you sitting in my particular seat? Why, why WHY???
Also, I’m sure the professor is just as confused as we are. They’re used to seeing a regularly scheduled classroom with each student in their unassigned-assigned seat. So you’re not only throwing off the whole class but the professor as well! But nobody says anything... we just awkwardly shift around while you obliviously just sit there, in my seat that I claimed during that first week of classes. Humans love routine and familiarity, hence why we continue to sit in the same seat each class. You’re the reason we can’t have nice things.
There's this quote that I feel really speaks to me during this time. It goes like this:
"No, no, no, no. Stick to the stuff you know. If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule, don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo." — Chad Danforth, Sharpay Evens and the East High Wildcats
What it's basically saying is that if you mess with the flow, you'll cause a chain reaction which can ultimately lead to the downfall of this class. So you must stick to the status quo that is our unassigned-assigned seats.
So, in conclusion, person who took my unassigned-assigned seat, I hope you’re happy with yourself. I hope you one day realize the panic and disorganization you caused by shifting two seats forward and one seat left and not to mention you did it in the middle of the semester!! You have no idea how many enemies you made that fateful day.
The moral of this open letter is to never, ever take another person’s unassigned-assigned seat.
The Person Whose Unassigned-Assigned Seat You Took