You’re used to being broken, to being shattered into a million little pieces. You’re used to the ache in your chest after another failed attempt at love. You’re used to falling into the pit of self-loathing and regret, and you’re especially used to asking yourself, “How did I let this happen again?”
You’re the girl who always falls in love, the girl who always get attached, and the girl that ultimately gets left behind. You see the girls who walk tall and don’t get crushes; they never fall in love. Their hearts are guarded by iron walls and it seems they’re incapable of getting heartbroken. In comparison, you feel anything and everything. Your heart is bared to the world and is covered in bruises from past hurts.
Sometimes, I hate being that girl. I hate putting my own happiness in anyone else’s hands, and I want to be the person who never has an opportunity to get hurt. I try to build walls around myself, and I try to resist the urge to let someone in.
But the thing is, I suck at building walls. I suck at not getting the feels. I would rather fall and not be caught than never have fallen at all. I love getting to know someone. I love texting them long into the night and finding out small details about them that I could have never imagined. I find myself finding people who are just as broken as me, and it’s nice to know you’re not alone.
It usually doesn’t work out, and that’s okay. We’re in our 20s and we’re in college and things aren’t meant to work out most of the time. And that’s okay. Because in all honesty, I’m the girl who always falls in love. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I will always give it to the next person. I’m the girl who would rather feel everything and run the risk of getting hurt versus never feeling anything.
To the girl who always falls in love, don’t lose yourself. Know who you are alone, and stay true to that person throughout everything you might go through. Make your own happiness, and don’t let anyone take from it. Let someone into your life only if they deserve to be, and kick them out the instant they prove themselves unworthy.
We’ve all been broken before. We’ve all been left behind with nothing but a broken heart and a bitter smile, but the ability to get back up and put yourself back together is the greatest thing about the people who always fall in love. We never let our past interfere with the present.
You’re beautiful and resilient, and worthy of love when it finally finds you. Love will find you, but it might take some more heartaches to get there.
Don’t be afraid to fall in love; it might just surprise you once in awhile.
