An Open Letter To The "Dad" That Never Wanted Me

An Open Letter To The "Dad" That Never Wanted Me

You meant nothing to me in my past, and you will mean nothing to me in my future.
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Dear biological father,

First things first; I hate you. I hate the way you treated my mom, I hate that I share your DNA, I hate that I always seemed to see you everywhere, and most of all, I hate the way you made me feel about myself. I hate you so much for making me feel unwanted for so long.

I could never understand why you did not want me. My mom would say that it was because you hated her so much, but what kind of father gives up their kid because they didn't like the other parent? My mom would tell me that to make me feel better, but it only made me angrier. A real parent, someone who loved their child unconditionally, would have fought tooth and nail to have their child in their life. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised considering you didn't even believe I was your child.

To this day I still can't figure out why I get so upset that you did not want me. I have a loving father who would do anything for me, I have a mother who loves me unconditionally, I have two sisters whom I love more than anything and who I know I can count on when I need them. I have a brother who would drive me crazy when we were younger, but I knew he had my back no matter what. I have two amazing nieces and the best nephew in the whole world; I have everything. Why does the thought of you not wanting me bother me so badly?

Don't mistake this letter as an invitation to come back into my life, not that I think you would even try. This letter is my closure. If you do read this, I want you to know; I do not need you. You left me and every day I am so thankful that you did, because if you hadn't, I would not have the most amazing and caring Dad that I have now. He is the only father I need and will ever want. We may have had our ups and downs while I was growing up, but no matter what, he was there for me. My dad was able to do something you were never able to do, step up and be a Father.

I don't know if you knew it was me or what, but you used to come into where I worked all the time. Every time you set foot in that spaghetti house, I had to try so hard to keep my mouth shut and not lash out at you. Every time you came in, I had to fight myself not to ask you if you had any idea who I was. Every time you came in, I had to speak to you like I had no idea who you were. Every time you came in, it made me hate you so much more.

Even though I get upset when I think about how you didn't want me, I still will never need you in my life. You meant nothing to me in my past and you will mean nothing to me in my future. It's obvious that I have a very successful life without you in it. I am in college and I have a good job, and I have my family behind me no matter what. I grew up knowing that my biological father never wanted me, but I got so lucky in the end because I grew up with a man who is so much better at being a dad than you would've ever been.

Somehow I hope this letter makes it's way to you, so you can finally feel how you used to make me feel: unwanted.

Sincerely,

The girl who finally got the courage to tell you she never needed you.

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Schofield

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Types of Dads

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Fathers are an important part of their children's lives, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Though all dads seem to have a certain "dad" vibe, there are distinct types of dads everyone can identify.

1) The Typical Dad



This dad has the "dad bod," wears glasses, and owns a certified pair of "dad sandals." He packed your lunches when you were little and asks how your day was when you get home from school. He tells lots of corny "dad jokes," especially about the loss of his hair. He loves sharing embarrassing stories of when you were little, then proceeds to tell your friends how he loves to embarrass you. This dad constantly switches the channel from news to sports. He debates about politics and enjoys a good barbecue on the grill outside. There is a 99% chance that he threw you up in the air when you were a baby (and almost dropped you).

2) The Outdoors-y Dad



This dad lives and breathes the outdoors. He loves camping and drags the family on lots of adventures in unique nature spots. Most of his shoes are outdoor heavy-duty boots because he is always ready for adventure. He can fix pretty much anything in the house, and you always ask him to open cans or bottles for you. His favorite hobbies include hiking, kayaking, ziplining, riding four-wheelers, and mowing the lawn with his John Deer. He drives your mom up the wall by driving different ways home because of the "scenic view." He has definitely subjected you to wake up early just to view the sunrise, something he often does himself.

3) The Cool Dad



In his mind, this dad is still 18 years old and still the popular kid he was in high school. His idea of formal wear consists of skinny jeans and a T-shirt with a suit jacket. Young or not, this dad tries to keep up with male fashion trends. He can often be found at youth events and jokes that he is still "young at heart." He loves pulling out pictures from the "good ole days" and constantly tries to prove that he's "still got it." He tries to fit in with your friends when they come over, and does his best to keep up with the slang of young people. He greets you with "yo" and texts "lol" in every message.

4) The No-Nonsense Dad



This dad most likely was in the military. He will NOT stand for your foolishness while you are "under his roof" (his favorite phrase). He wakes up super early and gets mad if you don't. He is intense during disagreements, and his most effective method of communicating is demanding. You have endured many speeches on life and your behavior if it is not satisfactory (which is pretty much always). His hobbies include asking about your grades, going down to your school, commenting on what you are wearing, and checking the condition of your room. Though you sometimes feel like a disappointment, this dad ultimately wants the best for you, which is why he is so hard on you.

5) The "Walking Wallet" Dad



This dad is a walking bag of money, to say the least. He started spoiling you from a young age, so there is no turning back now. All your friends are jealous because you always have nice things, thanks to him. He bought you your first car and first phone. Growing up, he gave you an allowance, but still ended up buying you everything anyway. This dad is pretty much an extra scholarship you will always have throughout your life.

6) The Athletic Dad



This dad is a born athlete. He played sports, most likely football, in high school and has not acquired the "dad bod" due to his intense workout regimen. His breakfast consists of strange things, like raw eggs and energy smoothies that make you gag. This dad never misses your sporting events and does more yelling than the coach while there. There is a 50% chance this dad is a personal trainer. You tried to workout with him once and almost died. Most of your friends think he is hot, and you have to remind them he is 20 years their senior (and also your dad--Gross!).

7) The Quiet Dad



His main function in your life is moral support. He is always there for you, but he is more of a listener than a talker. This dad knows a lot and gives great advice if you ask his opinion. This dad teared up at your graduation, when you went on your first date, and at your wedding.

All dads are important! Which is your dad?

Cover Image Credit: Flickr Photography - Giancarlo Zortea

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Thank You, Mom

You are the best mom around and the greatest one to ever exist.
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Hey Mom, I just wanted to thank you for everything that you do. I want to give you a reminder about why you're the best mom around and the greatest one to ever exist.

Thank you for being selfless.

You always make sure to put us first. You make sure that we're using our manners, following the rules, and living our lives to the fullest. You always make sure we are happy.

Thank you for all of your support.

You make sure to support us in everything we do. Even if you don't believe in what we're doing, you make sure to be there for us completely.

Thank you for always being there to help.

If we need money, food, advice, or anything... You are always there to help. Even if you are struggling, you make sure to help us.

Thank you for always listening.

Whenever I needed to vent about roommates, life, school, professors, stress, you name it, you've always been there to listen and give advice.

Thank you for teaching me how to be independent.

I went far from home but I knew how to be "independent". Yes, I may text and call you all the time, but most of the time, I can handle everything on my own.

Thank you for believing in me.

College definitely hasn't been easy for me. With you being there every step of the way, I am graduating on time and I am doing okay. There were times that I didn't believe in myself, but I had you there by my side to believe in me for me.

Thank you for teaching me that family is important.

With everything going on, you have always put family first. You make sure we all know that we are loved and you always find time to talk to everyone about their days and what we are doing. I know to always put McKenzie first because he is the beginning of my own little family. You helped me realize this.

Thank you for putting up with me.

I know I am a handful, and I especially was when I was younger. I could never behave at a restaurant (and especially not at a water park). I have always been needy, but it's been okay.

Thank you for being strong.

Things have been rough for you lately, but you never fail to remain as strong as you possibly can. You always put on a strong face even when you are broken, to make sure that we stay strong, too.

And of course, thank you for loving me, Mommy!

Cover Image Credit: Megan Trakalo

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