Dear biological father,
First things first; I hate you. I hate the way you treated my mom, I hate that I share your DNA, I hate that I always seemed to see you everywhere, and most of all, I hate the way you made me feel about myself. I hate you so much for making me feel unwanted for so long.
I could never understand why you did not want me. My mom would say that it was because you hated her so much, but what kind of father gives up their kid because they didn't like the other parent? My mom would tell me that to make me feel better, but it only made me angrier. A real parent, someone who loved their child unconditionally, would have fought tooth and nail to have their child in their life. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised considering you didn't even believe I was your child.
To this day I still can't figure out why I get so upset that you did not want me. I have a loving father who would do anything for me, I have a mother who loves me unconditionally, I have two sisters whom I love more than anything and who I know I can count on when I need them. I have a brother who would drive me crazy when we were younger, but I knew he had my back no matter what. I have two amazing nieces and the best nephew in the whole world; I have everything. Why does the thought of you not wanting me bother me so badly?
Don't mistake this letter as an invitation to come back into my life, not that I think you would even try. This letter is my closure. If you do read this, I want you to know; I do not need you. You left me and every day I am so thankful that you did, because if you hadn't, I would not have the most amazing and caring Dad that I have now. He is the only father I need and will ever want. We may have had our ups and downs while I was growing up, but no matter what, he was there for me. My dad was able to do something you were never able to do, step up and be a Father.
I don't know if you knew it was me or what, but you used to come into where I worked all the time. Every time you set foot in that spaghetti house, I had to try so hard to keep my mouth shut and not lash out at you. Every time you came in, I had to fight myself not to ask you if you had any idea who I was. Every time you came in, I had to speak to you like I had no idea who you were. Every time you came in, it made me hate you so much more.
Even though I get upset when I think about how you didn't want me, I still will never need you in my life. You meant nothing to me in my past and you will mean nothing to me in my future. It's obvious that I have a very successful life without you in it. I am in college and I have a good job, and I have my family behind me no matter what. I grew up knowing that my biological father never wanted me, but I got so lucky in the end because I grew up with a man who is so much better at being a dad than you would've ever been.
Somehow I hope this letter makes it's way to you, so you can finally feel how you used to make me feel: unwanted.
The girl who finally got the courage to tell you she never needed you.