Dear you,

You're probably lurking in the shadows of your own self-pity. You’re most likely scheming your next plot on how to destroy young girls by luring them in with your game of pretending to be something you're not. I put my faith, soul and heart into you. I once felt anger towards you, but now there is nothing left but sadness. That sadness is fueled by all the poor victims you have taken down with you in the past. Although I will never get back the effort that I put into you, I refuse to be identified as one of your victims. Instead, I will be their voice and tell you exactly what type of monster I saw you for.

You see, unlike you – who can't get enough of a good thing when you have one – I appreciate what is in front of me. No matter how much or how little of it I received. I was taught to be happy with even the minimum. You, on the other hand, received much. I praised and showered you with affection but all for a lost cause. I have loved and lost in the game of life, but when I started to realize what was deep down inside of you, I fell for that. I got lost in the person that I thought you were – only to realize that it was all an illusion.

You parade around in a mask. Others may not find it as identifiable as I once did, but it doesn’t take long before learning your true colors. You even had me fooled. Once I saw past that, I started seeing you for who you really are inside. You may have others convinced, but not me. You resented the way that I challenged you to be something better. You loathed the way that I made you think outside your usual simplistic mindset. I challenged you to try to be the best version of yourself that you could possibly be – to be the person that you didn’t ever show to other people. For a while, you were that person for me, and it was great for a time.

As everyone knows, all good things must come to an end. The unfortunate part is that it was never really much of a good thing – rather, it was a quick glimmer of what it could have been had you not pushed me away. You stopped putting in the effort and started to mock the cherished time that we spent together. You hated the way I would push you to think outside of your comfort level. You not only hated how much time I took up, but you also hated trying to be a better person for my sake. You started to hate my emotional nature and the big heart that God blessed me with. Do you want to know what hurt the most? Finding out that the one person who was supposed to love you turned out to be the one who resented you the most.

I took my defenses down for you. I was a vulnerable creature when I was first pulled into your games, and it just wasn’t right that you caused me to be so devastated by your false pretenses as a person. I can't admit it was all bad, because out of the agony of not being accepted for who I was, I learned something. I should not have stooped so low that I needed your confirmation in who I was as a person. I had too many ambitions and goals than to be sucked into your mockery. I didn’t want to settle for half-best. I wanted rawness and vulnerability. I want someone who isn’t afraid to shout from the rooftops how they feel about me instead of hiding it, only to find out they were pretending. I want someone who is able to realize what they have in front of them. I want someone who can appreciate that I am an opinionated person as well as a free-thinker. I want someone who pushes me to accomplish my goals rather than bash them and talk me down. I can only wish that I find someone that can reciprocate the never-ending love that I have to offer.

I am not a victim, and I certainly refuse to be identified as one of yours. I know my self-worth, and I know I am worthy of being loved. I am not a brainless individual. I am an intelligent human being with thoughts of the world that lies before me at my feet. I have an endless supply of love for all of those that choose to support me in my future endeavors. I am always accepting, always patient and always generous in the way that I love. My love is rare and you will not be able to find that love in many other places.

I once thought that you would take good care of me, that you would shelter me from all the wrongdoing in the world. I found out that you were the one that I needed protection from. So I became my very own hero and stopped falling victim to the pathetic games you played on the kind-hearted. I must admit, I was at my most vulnerable when I was with you, and I may never get the pieces of me back that I gave to you. You played me like a fool and left me empty-handed with nothing to show for the time we spent together.

I have finally come to terms with the truth. What I had to offer was far too good for you to even comprehend. You were not ready to grow up and appreciate something good. It scared you to even think of growing up and taking responsibility for another's feelings. I wanted to shower you with affection, but you showed me you were not worthy of it. So, despite my injuries, I got up and walked away – never looking back.

Without you, I may have never fully learned to appreciate who I really am. I learned that I didn’t ever need your opinion of who I was as a person to know that I was worthy of being loved. I was already perfect in the exact image that God made me. I can only pray for your poor innocent victims and hope that one day, they find a way out the same way I did. Maybe one day you wake up and find yourself in the wrong this whole time and realize something inside of you is missing. But it isn’t my job anymore to help you figure that out.