Not gonna lie, you really freaked me out when you first showed up 11 years ago. I didn’t know who you were or why you decided to bother me of all people. I had no idea what you were going to do to my life and how I would feel about it, so that was pretty scary.
Eleven years later and I’m still dealing with you today. I’ve learned to accept that you’re not going anywhere, at least for a while. Our love-hate relationship is similar to that of two bickering siblings. I can’t stand you, but I also can’t imagine my life without you. So with that, I’m sorry for neglecting you all the times when you’ve needed my attention. I always catch myself saying, “Oh I’ll just take my insulin later” or “I don’t have to take insulin for this.” I realize that this offends you because I’m ignoring you but after all, I am only human.
Anger and frustration is all that I have ever known with you, but I’m constantly working every day to change that. You suck sometimes, but your annoyances have shaped me into the human being that I am today. I like to think that you have made me much more responsible than I was at eight years old when I first met you, and for that I am grateful.
At first, you scared me into thinking that my life would be changed forever and that I would never be normal again. This was so far from the truth. Through you, I met some of my best friends and, in my opinion, some of the most inspirational people in this world. You gave me the opportunity to experience being a camp counselor and help other children that have similar relationships with you. Thank you for giving me the opportunities to meet new people and see the world in a different light. You have made me realize how truly precious life is. I see other people making risky decisions without considering the consequences, but you always make me think twice before doing something that seems dangerous. Thank you for making me more responsible for my actions, and realizing that self-destructive behaviors are simply not worth the trouble.
Sometimes my friends make fun of you, but I promise that they have good intentions. I don’t always stand up for you because I know that their comments aren’t meant to be malicious. If you were ever giving me serious trouble, I know that they would have my back in a heartbeat (watch out, I’ve taught them all how to use the Glucagon). People sometimes will say that because of you, I can’t have sweets or anything with sugar, which you and me both know is SO not true! Please understand that people just don’t understand sometimes because they don’t know you like I do.
I’m sorry that you sometimes embarrass me. I know that you are nothing to be ashamed of, but I still hate explaining your story to people that simply refuse to even try understanding. I should be more willing to teach others about you, but our relationship is complicated, so I guess it’s better to just keep it on the DL.
I’ve learned so much about you over the past 11 years and I continue to learn more and more every day. I’ve tried so many different things to make our relationship better, but sometimes things just don’t work out and that’s not my fault or yours! As long as we work with each other and do the best we can, we will be okay.
What I’m really trying to say here is this: I know I act like I hate you, but I really don’t. Frustration sometimes comes off as hate, but you actually taught me things at eight years old that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have learned until late adulthood. You have taught me to have responsibility for myself and for my actions. Sometimes I don’t listen when you tell me to take care of you, but I promise that this is not intentional negligence. I put you on the backburner a lot and I’m sorry that I don’t always care for you like I should.
It’s been a long roller coaster ride of ups and downs so far and I’m sure we will have more bumps along the way, but I have high hopes for our future. Technology is improving immensely by the day and I know that this will eventually change things for us. So, thank you for all of the opportunities you have given me and I’m sorry for not always appreciating them like I should.
