Hey you,

In two weeks you’re going to leave your home for a fresh start. In two weeks you’re going to be 800 miles away from every familiar place and thing you know. In two weeks you’re going to be alone in a state that you visited once and fell in love with. I know that you’re scared, but you made this commitment. Stop thinking about everything that could go wrong and start packing. The days fly by and sooner than later your times up.

Today is the day when you’re leaving. You’ve hugged your sister, your nieces and nephews, your best friends, and you’ve held it together. Then you say goodbye to your dog and all that stone cold, it’s no big deal front that you’ve worked so hard to keep up, vanishes. You should have hugged them a little longer and told them how important they are just one more time. You should have spent a little more time with them and a little less time out. You’re 18 and you think that those friends are a little more important and that’s okay, you’re a kid, but you’ll find out soon enough. I wish you could have realized how brave you were for saying goodbye.

You’re on route to school right now with your parents and you block all your thoughts out with music. You’re almost there and those goodbyes you didn’t get are still the only thing on your mind. Let them go, trust me. Your dorms all set up, you have your books, and your schedule. It’s time, stop being so stubborn and tell your parents you’re going to miss them. Stop trying to cover up all your emotions, it’s okay to show them how much they mean to you.

It’s been a couple months and you’ve met great people and you’re enjoying yourself. You’re trying to balance all the new things and people in your life, but you need to slow down. Stop living for the weekends and focus.

Then your world stops, you get that phone call. Your Grandmother is dead and your home is never the same. You should have told your parents that going home for the funeral and going back to school was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. You should have called your Mom and told her you were struggling with the grief. You shouldn’t have put all that on your shoulders. Most importantly, you shouldn't feel guilty for being away at school and missing time with her because she wanted you here.

You have good and bad days. You still can’t shake the guilt you have for being happy, so far from your home. Your definition of home is beginning to change and that’s scaring you. As time goes on you realize home is not so much a place, but the people that hold places in your heart.

The year is almost over and you’ve changed a lot. You realize that family is one of the most important things to you, you lose your faith,you meet your best friends, you check things of your bucket list, you drink a little too much, and you have some regrets. I wish you could have realized sooner that you are not a bad person for moving away from the state that will forever hold a place in your heart. You’re not a bad Aunt for missing baseball games or band concerts because you are setting an amazing example. You are not a bad person for leaving, you made a decision for yourself and you are entitled to that. Through loss, love, and life you found yourself this year. You realized how thankful you are to have multiple homes and hearts in this big world.

YOU ARE BRAVE.