An Open Letter To My Dearest Boyfriend

An Open Letter To My Dearest Boyfriend

Thank you for being a blessing.

In nine days you will be home and in twelve days it will be Christmas. It is possible that this could be our last Christmas together for a few years pending deployment and therefore gives more importance to you being home this year. I could not be more thankful to be spending Christmas with you and wont ever take that for granted.

Currently, you are busy where you are and even though I can talk to you at Christmas its back to no communication for a while and not knowing what you are doing. As difficult as that sounds, it is okay. I know you are doing what you love and because you are doing what you love I can be happy too. Despite our differences in career choices, we support and love one another unconditionally.

I cannot wait to do all our favorite things when you come home cause we always make the most of our time together. The saying, "distance makes the heart grow founder" couldn't be more true. Each and every time I get to be in your arms again gets better and better.

On the contrary, yes saying goodbye does not get easier. However, that is not the point. The point is that despite where you are in the world and despite where I am there is nothing that can come between us.

To me you are more than just some guy I fell in love with. You're my best friend and the person who I can see forever with and forever is pretty exciting. You are a very admirable person, one who has no selfishness, but only devotion to protect our country, to protect your family, and to protect me. There are many reasons to fall in love with such a guy, and any woman would be lucky, but I truly believe in God and his plan for each and every person in this world.

I believe God puts individuals together for a reason, to show them their strengths and to have them deal with their weaknesses. To learn how to build a life and to be content with the life you are living. To show you different perspectives on life, to show you how grateful you should be despite how grateful you think you are. To show you the blessings in your take time and reflect on those blessings and yes you are one of my biggest blessings and God shows me every day just how blessed I am.

One way by bringing you home for Christmas. Honestly, that is the most wonderful gift I could ever have is having you in my arms this holiday season. So my love, in just a few more days I will be the one at the airport holding up a sign and as soon as I see you I will be in tears, happy tears as I run and jump into your arms because you are home and wherever you are with me, that is home.

Cover Image Credit: Kathryn Crenshaw

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How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Really Work

It's not just a myth for the movies!

Newsflash: distance doesn’t have to ruin your relationship.

It’s hard to imagine when you’ve never had to spend more than a day or two without seeing your partner. If a few days of separation makes you miserable, it’s even worse to think about the weeks or possibly months, that you’ll have to spend apart. Distance isn’t the ultimate relationship killer, however, and no, successful long-distance relationships aren’t myths. Here is a handy go-to guide in having your relationship survive the dreadful time apart:

First, you should really consider the relationship you’re in: is it situational? In a situational relationship, your partner is only in your future because you haven’t experienced an environment away from them. A lot of high-school romances, unfortunately, are situational. Since you have them in classes every day, or you drive them to school in the mornings, or you spend every lunch together, it’s hard not to imagine them with you. The reason so many relationships end once college begins is that suddenly, you realize that you loved them because they were there. It wasn’t because they shared the same future goals as you, or because you would genuinely do anything for them, but because you were in each other’s circles all the time. It was a convenient relationship that made you happy while you were in high school, but now you’ve seen a bigger world, and suddenly their presence isn’t necessary. If you can sit down now, and consider the grounds in which your relationship was formed, congrats. Most people can’t, and won’t realize that they’re only dating someone because their options in their setting are limited. If you fear your relationship may be situational, then it may be time to have a talk with your partner.

If not, the first step in a long-distance relationship (and any relationship, really) is constant communication. I’m not advising you to phone your partner at every given free moment. You should, however, text them throughout the day, and throughout the weeks you’re apart. Schedule time for phone calls and FaceTimes that fit with both of your plans. Set time aside to just talk to your partner. Even if you just send them a few memes throughout the day that remind you of them, or if you call every night to say goodnight before you sleep- it’s important to reach out on a daily or regular basis. If you only send them your SnapChat streaks and call once a week, that’s not going to cut it. The communication, really, is half the battle. If you can find a steady schedule to keep yourselves connected, you’re doing a great job already.

Next, you should work on scheduling times to see each other. This one could be tricky, especially if the distance is a 6+ hour drive. Develop a balance so the two of you both make the effort for visitation. Plan dates that work within your schedules and actually commit to them. If neither of you can travel to see each other until winter break, that’s a-okay: as long as you both agree to that plan. Do not force your partner to drive to see you all the time, but refuse to take the bus to go visit them, too.

Sidenote: surprise visits can actually not be so great and romantic as you think, especially if one or both of you have roommates. Your partner will need to give their roommate the heads-up before you spend a few nights, so you do actually need to plan the visits accordingly.

Send each other things. Sincerely, sending little care packages or handwritten letters or little presents just for fun can add the romantic quality to your relationship that’s usually completed by dates. This one you don’t have to plan out; it’s actually cuter sometimes to send your partner a gift in the mail and have them be surprised by it. Of course, you don’t have to send them things all the time (since, you know, postage costs money) but being thoughtful every now and then is a cute way to show your partner you still care, especially if you can’t see them too often. And obviously, don’t forget each other’s birthdays or Valentine’s Day, if you won’t be together in person!

Don't give up. There’s a big difference in saying “This isn’t making me happy anymore” and “If we never see each other, what’s the point?” If you fall into the first realization, it’s possible that the relationship just isn’t working out. But if you believe in the second, you may not be able to have a long-distance relationship; most of your relationships are probably situational. That’s okay! Fortunately for you, you’ll always be able to find romance, wherever you go.

If you want to keep a long-distance relationship, because it makes you really happy, but the thought of not seeing your person makes you hopeless- keep going! Keep a physical calendar and mark down the days until you’re reunited. A few weeks apart is nothing in comparison to the months you’ll have together over the summer, and the years you’ll have together if you plan on staying together after college. The time will move much quicker than you think, I promise.

There are ways to make it work, especially if you’re willing to put in the effort. Again, all relationships require work to make them last, so as long as you understand that it’s not going to be like the movies, and it will require a give-and-take, your relationship can survive anything- even distance.

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Overprotective Girlfriends NEED To Stop

We need to stop fueling the idea that women are crazy.

"You don't own him." This is a phrase I heard again and again but only now have really come to terms as to what it means. In high school, it seems often times that our boyfriends and girlfriends are used as a sense of currency.

They are an item that we have full possession of and sometimes even use as a ladder in social status. Dating the popular guy means that you might have your social status raised, be invited to more parties, your followers will triple on Instagram.

All in all, I think the wild possessiveness women often exhibit over their boyfriends and partners is something that feeds into the sexist narrative that women are crazy. The thing above calling women crazy is that it's a lot easier to debunk it when there isn't fuel constantly being thrust into the fire.

Girls, if we want to defeat the sexist narrative that women are psychotic there's a lot of work to be done here.

Number one rule, people aren't possessions.

You don't own your boyfriend and him talking to other people of the opposite sex shouldn't come as any sort of threat to you unless you're not confident in your relationship. Unless you have a valid reason that he might cheat on you, such as cheating occurring in the past.

We need to push past the "crazy ex-girlfriend" phrase or in this case the "crazy current girlfriend." We need to realize that we as creatures are social and you don't ever own possession of another individual.

The fact that physically speaking with another person is seen as some sort of act of infidelity or treachery is ridiculous to me.

Trust is an absolute necessity in a relationship and if you are constantly worried about every single person that your boyfriend is conversing with, then you don't have it in your relationship. It's time to push past the stereotype of the crazy that we are constantly hovering over our phones, foaming at the mouth being driven to literal insanity wondering if he is talking to anyone else.

Dignity and trust it something I truly do think a vast majority of people in this generation are significantly lacking in. Confidence is beautiful and lacking it both in yourself and in your relationship is a tragedy.

Your erratic behavior in regards to your boyfriend and whom he conversing with really works as a mirror of your own securities, confident people aren't afraid that they aren't good enough to be loved by their partners.

You're good enough and jumping down the throat of every girl that speaks to your man proves that you think differently about yourself than you should.

You're good enough and he knows that. You should too.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

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