The “quiet question” is one that I have gotten far too many times.

“Why are you so quiet?” and “Why aren’t you talking?” have become familiar to me, and so has the uneasiness that settles in the pit of my stomach.

Maybe people think that stating the obvious will make me more comfortable, but in reality, it just makes me feel self-conscious. I used to wonder what was wrong with me. Why can’t I always mindlessly chatter with everyone? Why do I feel so uncomfortable?

Here’s the thing: I’m not shy when I’m comfortable. I’m not a naturally quiet person either -- just ask the people I’m close to. The fact that I am quiet around big groups or people that I didn’t know used to be confusing for me. When people would ask me about my quietness, it almost felt accusatory, and I would start to get defensive.

As an introvert, I recognize that I get my energy from being alone. I don’t just enjoy having time to myself, I absolutely need it to unwind and quiet all of the noise in my head. What many people don’t know is that being able to spend peaceful time alone is a sign of psychological health.

After I have been to a social gathering, or have been around many people for a while, I feel drained and need to recharge. I even get irritable sometimes. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have fun; it just means that socializing has a draining effect on me.

People with high energy that never seem to slow down are exhausting. How can they enjoy talking that much? Introverts’ and extroverts’ brains are wired differently; as introverts, our bodies are made for contemplation and hibernation.

I am comfortable with a few close friendships. It’s not that big groups make me anxious, I am just not naturally the outspoken person. I prefer to pay attention to interactions and read into what people are saying before I contribute, although sometimes I am seen as standoffish.

I can’t control when I don’t feel comfortable adding to the conversation. It’s healthy to have a few close people to share your life with and count on, but lately it seems as though friends have become a bit of an accessory to those who have no intention of choosing them wisely.

Social media has become a platform for showcasing those who seem to have the happiest lives and the most friends, and it has become an unspoken competition. This is unsettling because nothing can compare to true friendships that don’t need to be shown off. When it comes down to it, remember that quality will trump quantity every time. Who is going to be there for you in the middle of the night, even if they have a class early the next day? Who doesn’t care if your problems inconvenience them?

Those are the real relationships that I spend my time on. Just know that it’s okay to have a small circle.

I used to not understand why I felt like an outsider at times, and why I was so reluctant to be open to everyone just like my friends were. As I got older, I started to have a rough time.

I realized that I had surrounded myself with extroverted people when all I wanted was to curl up with a cup of coffee and hang out with a select few people. I pretended to have the same interests as my friends, and tried to enjoy things that I knew weren’t fun for me.

Introverts have the deepest thoughts and feelings. While we might not always say what comes to our minds whenever we feel like it, we are constantly contemplating, observing and sometimes overthinking. Everyone’s opinions and emotions are valuable, and some of the more insightful ones can often be overlooked because introverts tend to be socially modest and don’t demand attention.

Being an introvert has helped me see things that often fade into the background. Introverts know the healthy balance of social interaction and having alone time to recharge. Remember, it’s okay if you don’t fit everyone’s expectations of how you “should be acting.” Being confident and comfortable with yourself is the most important thing.