Oh, my sweet Honey Bunches of Oats!

To start off, hi.

Thank you for continuously choosing me day in and day out.

Something you should know is that right now, I am 19. Living in Tallahassee.

Currently, it is 4 a.m. and I can’t sleep.

There are so many things on my mind, including you, whoever you are.

By now, you know that I am a Martha. I am a worrier (hence, why it is 4 a.m. and I am writing to you). I try so hard not to be, but I am. And apparently, since you’re still here, you know that about me. And you may not particularly like it, maybe you do, it’s just what makes me, well… me.

You also know that I am a lover. And I will do anything and everything to make sure you are happy. You know that I care a lot, about animals and children, and I’ve probably been most caring towards you.

You must also know that I am incredibly sassy. Don’t forget that when needed, I will put you in your place. Because clearly, I’m not afraid.

I hope that you are proud of who I am. I hope you are proud of the things I have accomplished in life. I hope that when you see me, your eyes light up.

I’ve been reading a book called "Praying For Your Future Husband" by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. It’s crazy how incredibly well this book was written. That’s besides the point. Thank you for being my inspiration. Whoever you are, I’ve been waiting for the day to find someone who is there for me no matter what and loves me through everything since I was like 4. And I can’t wait to spend life with you. Even when I’m not verbally praying for you, I’m mentally praying for you constantly. Wondering who you are, what your life is like, where you are, etc.

You must also know that I have a huge obsession with writing, Taylor Swift, and Marley Anne. FSU will always hold a special place in my heart. Oh and children. Love them, I’m guessing you do as well. I love exploring the world, and getting away from what I know… Gradually. By now you've met my family. My crazy family that I adore. And that must not have scared you away. Family is big to me and I can’t wait for you to be part of mine.

Thank you for not allowing others' opinions of me change the way you feel. Thank you for it letting my past change the way you see. And especially thank you for not letting my flaws hold you back from loving me. Thank you for coming into my life and loving me. Thank you for sticking by my side even when I overreact, get emotional, deal with pain, and freak out for absolutely no reason. And even deeper than that, thank you for knowing me inside and out, every flaw, and still give me a chance everyday. Thank you for knowing how anxious I get and still accepting me. And I’m sure that you’ve also learned how to keep me on tracks and hold me accountable when I mess up (Lord knows I’ll do it for you as well). No matter what age we are when we meet, I hope that you read this and just know that I have been praying and patiently (kind of) been waiting for you. As we both know, I’m patient to a certain extent. Thank you for putting up with my dramatic self. I know it's annoying but I've always been that way. So thank you for not making me change. I know it's probably been a trip but thanks for joining along on the ride.

Next, I want to apologize for a few things. For the nights when I didn’t want to get off the phone. I’m sorry that I don’t ever want to stop hugging you, it makes me feel safe. I’m sorry for all the sass and attitude; you must really enjoy it for some strange reason. I’m sorry for my freak out moments on you, when you probably did nothing wrong. I’m sorry that I can be so hard headed when it comes to trusting you or wanting things to be done the way that I want them to be done. I know that I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'm sorry for that, I truly hope that my past will never affect our future. I hope that you will always be understanding. I’m sorry for probably texting you repetitively texting… It’s a test for my patience when you respond too slowly (and you probably know that). Hopefully, by the time that we are together, I have stopped my dangerous assumptions. But probably not, because let’s be real, I’m me. I’m sorry for having such a fragile heart. But I promise that I will love you with every part of it and choose you day in and day out.

Quick note: I’m sorry for apologizing a lot.

I promise you that I will love you. I promise that I will always try to be the best for you.

Lastly, I want to say that I can’t wait to love you so incredibly much. I can’t wait to love you through all of our fights. I can’t wait to love you through all of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. I can’t wait to adventure this world and this life together, no matter where it may take us. I can’t wait to be vulnerable with you; something I have never been able to do, something that has always scared me. I can’t wait to love you.

And now, I’m officially crying. But don’t worry. I’m crying because I’m excited and happy. I’m crying because I’m ready to be a good girlfriend and then a good wife. And I’m so ready for what the future holds for us. Thank you for beating all of my standards and exceeding them.

I know this won’t be perfect. And I know we will have hard times along the way. But I know that we will also have incredible times. I want you to remember that you are my person and you always will be. We both know that I have been eager to meet and love you for a long time, someone who fits me so well. So with that being said, I will do everything in my power to keep you and I hope that you do the same.

Love,

Your Future Wife

(Found on my blog: https://kaleysusannaablogs.wordpress.com)