In the summer of 2015, I lost a close friend to suicide. My life is a before and after of this devastating moment, and whether I liked it or not, her loss changed me forever. After struggling to cope with her death, while battling with my own suicidal thoughts, I now understand that suicide is something that cannot be swept underneath a rug. In honor of September being suicide awareness month, I decided to write this open letter to anyone who may be thinking about death by suicide.
If you are reading this, and you are thinking about taking your own life, I need you to take a deep breath and hear me out. I know that you are hurting. I know that the pain is absolutely unbearable, and I know that it is hard to see the light in all of the darkness. I know you are blinded by the pain you feel. The weight in your chest is too much for you to take, and your dark thoughts are breaking you into pieces. I know you feel like you are worthless, and I know what you are thinking about doing. But, I’m asking you please, don’t. Don’t go through with whatever it is you are thinking about doing. I know you think it’s a quick solution to end the pain. But I’m here to tell you that ending your own life doesn’t end the pain, it just puts it onto someone else. I’m here to tell you that when you take your own life, you also take a piece of those you love with you. You leave an emptiness in their hearts that sticks with them forever. You may think the world would be better without you, but in reality, the world needs you. People need you. If you’re gone, you will be shattering the hearts of hundreds of people that you impacted simply by living your life.
I’ve been where you are. I know the world feels terrifying and lonely. I know you feel like the current state you are in is permanent, but I am telling you that that isn’t even the slightest bit true. Brighter days are just around the corner.
You are capable of healing and living a fulfilling life. You can get help! You have friends and family who will do anything for you. You have people in your life who will drop whatever they are doing and come be by your side. You can find professional help, and get connected to the resources you need to get better.
I am asking you to be courageous and tell someone. I know it’s scary to open up and let someone know you are hurting. It’s terrifying to be vulnerable. But, you are not weak; you are incredibly strong and brave for doing something that so many people in our society cannot; you are asking for help.
I am pleading with you to stay and fight your inner demons. I need you to know that you are stronger than the thoughts inside your head. Those feelings do not define who you are. You are more than your darkest days.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
