Sometimes, they say, that “the only way out is through.” Whether it’s fighting your way out of this rut you’ve been stuck in lately, struggling with the iron fist of grief strangling you, or pushing away the pervasive thoughts of self-doubt that linger in the back of your mind constantly, I promise you that the battle you’re fighting will take great strength. You might experience setbacks on your climb to the top of that mountain, and you might even fall back to the bottom a few times before your feet touch the peak. Life is not always sunshine and happiness for anyone of us on this planet we call home; we all suffer through our own moments of weakness, and we all experience the feeling of wanting to give up at one point or another. Here’s my advice to you all out there who are climbing a mountain:
Foremost, you need to remember is that “this too shall pass.” I promise you that you will survive this ﹣ whatever “this” may be in your case. Think of all of the moments you’ve experienced so far in your life during which you’ve felt like you couldn’t go on, that you’d fail, or that it was the end of the world. Now think about the fact that you’ve survived 100 percent of those moments, even when you were sure you wouldn’t. Those moments may have challenged you and you may have broken down or lost faith in the trying times, but eventually, you climbed that mountain and placed your flag down at the top. You aren’t a failure; you beat it. Just like all of those previous moments in which you felt hopeless, this one will eventually pass, too, and you will come out on the other side a stronger person because of it.
Secondly, you need to keep in mind is that it’s okay to show weakness and ask for help when you need it. We all (macho-man or not) break down and/or cry sometimes; that is perfectly okay﹣in fact, it’s entirely normal. I know how difficult it is to feel comfortable in exposing your vulnerability; you feel naked and insecure with your raw emotions out in the open for everyone to see. I’m not going to lie and tell you that it’s easy to show this side of yourself to other people and to open up to others in your moments of weakness. It’s hard to not hide your emotions away under lock and key; it’s so hard. However, cracking yourself like an egg and allowing your yolk to drain out into the hands of those around you though is an important step in the healing process. In order to feel understood and to receive the much-needed support from those around you, you must let them see your emotions and know what is wrong. Without it, they cannot provide the support that you need from them.
Another thing to remember in a tough patch is that you are never alone in your struggle. There is always at least one other person in the same situation as you are, battling the same impossible demons as you… the challenge is just finding that person or people. Once you pin down those who have been in your same position before or are currently in the same position, you can rely on them for the support you crave so deeply. Leaning on the people around you can make a world of difference; be sure to surround yourself with people who will lift you higher in your climb to the peak of that mountain. And then, when others find themselves fighting the battle you once were, you can be their crutch to fall back on for support.
The next thing to keep in perspective is that wallowing in a pool of self-pity gets you nowhere. I’m not saying that it’s not okay to be unhappy sometimes; no one is or should be happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. However, I’m saying that after a few days of Netflix binge-watching or a few pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, eventually you need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start climbing that mountain. Don’t allow yourself to continue to lay at the bottom of that incline crying “woe is me" until you're out of breath, because nothing is going to get better unless you, yourself, put effort in to make it better. Don’t give yourself excuses; do not simply allow yourself to take the easy way out. Face your demons and troubles head-on, with every ounce of fighting force you can muster up. Negativity will only breed more negativity in your life. In the moments during which you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, remember that the only place you can go from here is upwards, but in order to do that, you must choose to take those first few steps.
Lastly, you need to remember that this will not be the last challenge you’ll face in your life. You may eventually conquer this mountain, but just beyond the peak will be another mountain for you to summit ﹣ perhaps an even bigger one. Life is truly beautiful and full of joy, but it is also full of hardship and sadness. Unfortunately, in order to truly appreciate the beauty and goodness in each of our lives, we also have to experience the ugly and sadness, too. This was not the first mountain you’ve had to climb in your life, and it certainly will not be the last one, either. So keep your chin up, and start making your way to the top. No matter how many times you fall, I promise you that eventually you will reach the peak and place your flag down; you just have to keep climbing.
