As you go through life, you go through friends. You become close with people as you get to know and spend time with them, and sometimes it fades away and the friendship seizes to exist. But what about all those people you thought were your friends who dropped you out of nowhere?

First off, fuck you, to everyone who's dropped me. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not because I never did anything wrong to any of you. I'm not sorry you thought you found someone better, I'm not sorry you thought I wasn't good enough, and I'm not sorry you believed in rumors about me over the truth.

When it first happened each time, I won't lie it hurt. It hurt to think how close I could be with a person, only to have them decide their new friend was more interesting and fun to be around. It hurt to not be invited to things anymore because I was associated with someone you didn't like. It hurt to not be believed over lies when I thought the trust was stronger than that. That feeling of utter despair, of thinking so lowly of myself when in reality people are just cruel-it wasn't me it was them.

Instead of bashing on all these people, who I'm sure won't even read this, I just want to acknowledge that despite the pain of back then, I'm glad today you are out of my life.

For some of you, if we were still friends today, I don't think I ever would have met a lot of the wonderful people I'm surrounded by now. I would have gone through life with you, befriending people I know you're friends with now instead of the people I've become close with over the years. When you let me go, it was in replacement of someone else. Someone I'm sure you thought would make you look better and give you benefits in the long run. I'm not someone to be used, so I'm glad I wasn't that person to you. I'd much rather find someone who truly values me. And because you dropped me, I was able to find those people, the same people I wouldn't be friends with today had you and I not been crushed apart.

For some more of you, staying friends would have brought me nothing but insecurity and the feeling of walking on eggshells. There's nothing worse than thinking you're close with someone, but haven't doubt at the back of your mind that they didn't like you that much or that they talked about you behind your back. Which in the end was exactly what you did. Back when you dropped me, it was like a stab in the back. One day I was part of the group, the next day I wasn't. It was devastating, and I was left all alone. I'm happy were not friends anymore though because I know even today, I would still have doubts about your loyalty and honesty-and that's not something worth questioning to me. Having true friends I know I can trust and that truly love me is far more important than being part of any group filled with fakes.

For the last of you, being friends now would have only caused toxicity. When it all came down to it, you didn't approve of who I was and I wasn't going to change myself for you. It was a rumor that tore us apart, which is the sad part because to this day I'm sure you still believe it. But looking back now, I suppose this rumor was a blessing in disguise because if that hadn't torn us apart, something else would have. Something I did that you wouldn't have liked, something I said that would have set you off, an outside source pulling you away from me. Our friendship never would have lasted so I'm thankful I got out while I still could before things got bad and we both ended up in worse places. Had you not dropped me, I would still have the sense of unacceptance from you instead of the true acceptance I have now from others you were holding me back from.

My life is far from perfect, believe me, and I'd be lying if I said at this point I was really, truly happy. All of you set forth so many issues for me. Issues of feeling like no one likes me, issues of feeling unaccepted, issues of second guessing every relationship I have. But I also know, if you were still in my life, I would have even more issues and would be even more unhappy. Real friendship is more important to me than a bunch of fake relationships with people who don't even like me half to time. I'd rather have less people I don't have to worry about than dozens who fill me with anxiety.

So to all the friends that dropped me, it's your loss, not mine. I'm happy you're gone and that my life is filled with so many amazing people that I know will never hurt me like you did.