There's a sacred bond that goes along with being a best friend. It's unspoken, but everyone is aware of what being a best friend means. It's a shoulder to cry on, it's a bank of secrets, it's unrelenting support, and an endless supply of laughter and fun. But not all best friends make it until forever ends. Some best friends are there for a moment. Some were never really best friends at all.
You used to mean the world to me. In many ways, you still do. But you haven't been my best friend in a while; not in a few years. The truth is, we haven't been close. I've watched you grow closer with other people, which is fine. I didn't mind. I knew I was growing close with other people as well. But their was a defined difference. You were still an important part of my life, someone that I was expending a large amount of effort on. But you did not hold me in the same regard that I held you in. It hurt, but I continued on for a long time like nothing had happened, as though things were like they were when we were in high school. But nothing in my life was like it was in high school. I was moving on in life and beginning to become the person that I wanted to be. I was growing up, and I was out growing you.
This passed year I put a lot of thought into our friendship. Honestly, I've been mad at you for a while. You haven't been the friend that I expected you to be, or the friend that I deserved. You weren't there when I needed you to be. You didn't want to be. You were too focused on yourself. The only time you wanted to be friends was when you needed something, when I had value or use. I am not a tool to be pulled from a belt to be used to fix a problem; I am a person, and I am worth more than how you treat me.
Friendship is also based largely on honesty. I can say without a doubt that I have never lied to you. I am blatant and sometimes harsh with my honesty, but it's better than being lied to. You have repeatedly lied to me, or withheld the truth (which, in case you were unaware, is the same as lying) on multiple occasions. Lying is my biggest pet peeve; I can't stand it. All I ever ask is for people to be upfront and honest with me. Apparently, that was too much to ask of you.
The last few weeks of our friendship felt as though we weren't friends at all. I stopped messaging you first, so we barely spoke. When I saw you in person, I had nothing to say to you. I had a building bout of anger growing inside me which went entirely unnoticed by you. You did not care at all. You didn't even try to be my friend. I guess at that moment in time, I didn't offer anything you needed. I didn't matter. When enough was enough, and it was time to cut you off, I felt as though I didn't even lose a friend. I felt the same, like an acquaintance I barely knew fell out of my life. The stress and bitterness you built up in my life dispersed. For me, you were a toxic friendship. It was time to weed the garden so the flowers could flourish. And now I'm filled roses.
You were my best friend for a decade. You knew me inside and out at one point. But I am no longer that person; You no longer know everything about me. And whatever type of person you may think me to be, I am my own person with my own goals and aspirations. I will always put my happiness ahead of the feelings of others. And yes, I am a selfish person, but that is a quality I recently developed. Living for myself without the pretenses from others. Without the guilt of making others happy at my own expense. I will not be a doormat for you to wipe your feet on.
My dearest ex best friend, I hope you enjoy your life, but I will never be a part of it again.
