Today I am interviewing a friend who has Fibromyalgia.
To begin, I'd like to introduce my friend Cherish Brown, age 20. She has PTSD, Bipolar disorder, Anxiety disorder and Fibromyalgia. She works four jobs and goes to NTC for Human Services. She is a superhero.
Today, we are focusing on her Fibromyalgia. Cherish was in a level eight pain as she was giving this interview, so this will be short.
ME: Tell me about Fibromyalgia and what is it?
CHERISH: *groans* What is fibromyalgia? Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain disorder that also comes along ith a lot of really fun symptoms like memory loss, fibro fog, chest pain everything else in the world that sucks, heat sensitivity... yeah.
ME: is Fibromyalgia the same for everybody?
CHERISH: No, it's completely different and that's why they have such a hard time diagnosing it. A lot of Fibromyalgia patients just feel pain in their upper back and neck. I get in in my chest more than anything lately, but even that changes.
ME: When did you develop fibromyalgia?
CHERISH: A year ago, although I think I had it when I was younger though too.
ME: What pain level are at, all the time?
CHERISH: Five or above. Here let me describe to you what a five is, keep in mind that this is my low... okay so this is my minimum: I think about pain most of the time, I cannot do the activities I need to do each day because of the pain. That's my minimum, that's a five. And then it can move up to a ten which is: I cannot move because of the pain, I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of the pain.
ME: How often are you at a ten?
CHERISH: *sigh* usually I don't go to the emergency room because I know there's nothing that they can do for me there. At least once a week, sometimes every night, it depends on how things are going. Right now I'm closer to an eight.
ME: what does an eight feel like?
CHERISH: I can't do anything I want to. There's shooting pain in my shoulder and my arm, my neck,back, and my legs are weak. I can still think straight but I'm probably going to spend a lot of time right here on the couch.
ME: How does one develop Fibromyalgia?
CHERISH: That's the thing, there's not a whole lot known about Fibromyalgia, so there's no knowing how I got it. They think it might be connected to trauma. It's not caused by trauma, but a lot of people who have Fibromyalgia have some sort of physical or emotional trauma. Which makes sense, if the mind isn't healthy then the body starts to get sick too. But yeah, I just woke up sick one day and never got better.
ME: What are some of the discourse surrounding Fibromyalgia?
CHERISH: People think I'm lazy. I think that's what bothers me the most. I think I complain a lot. You know when I'm at work and I tell my supervisors that I can't do something, everyone else thinks I'm just saying that so I don't have to work, but I literally cant do it. And they look at me because I look perfectly healthy; there's nothing wrong with my body, they've done scans and there's nothing physically wrong that they could find, it's more of a nerve thing, although it's not specific to nerve pain, its bone pain its muscle pain its everything in between, my skin even hurts to be touched. But other people, they don't see that and they don't understand that. But when I say, 'hey I did a load of laundry', people say 'so?' but that's a big deal for me, to clean anything; or to even drive my car some days.
ME: What can we do to spread the awareness of Fibromyalgia?
CHERISH: just educate yourselves. I mean its impossible for people to really know how bad it is but, like know that we are trying... I don't know words I'm trying to say cause I'm in a fog right now.
ME: Thank you Cherish
CHERISH: Mhm.
it was after this that we talked about how to be a good friend to someone who has Fibromyalgia. I'm going to summarize because she swore a lot.
Basically, listen to them. Open doors for them when they say they are in pain, carry things, give massages, try and understand. Don't say things like:
"Have you tried yoga?"
"You must be allergic to gluten."
"It's normal to be sore."
"You're so young, there's no way you have this."
"Have you tried detox?"
"What about swimming?"
When someone with Fibromyalgia tells you that they are in pain, listen. Tere is likely nothing you can do to stop the pain, and that's okay. Sit with them, tell them that you are here. Don't treat them as if they were dying either. Cherish is still my good friend. I've watched movie marathons and ran off a dock naked with her, but I've also rubbed her back until my hands were sore, and watched her weep on the floor begging for the pain to stop. I know that she's sick and that there is nothing I can do, but I'm still here for her regardless.
Cherish Brown is a hero and in constant pain. She is not lazy, she loves her jobs, she loves going to school. But sometimes the pain is so bad all she can do in lay there and cry. This is the reality of Fibromyalgia.
