I wouldn’t call it a midlife crisis because I am only 20-years-old, but I was in a funk for sure. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it exactly. Almost always, we end up becoming like the people we surround ourselves with. They can influence us in a positive way or a negative way. While we obviously are surrounded with all different types of people, we must never lose ourselves. I encourage you to always stay on track and be the best version of yourself.
For me, it was a toxic relationship. When I finally got out of it, I felt like a fog was lifted from what my life had been. I did quite a bit of reflecting and felt like I was not pleased with who I was and how I acted when I was in said relationship. I planned to follow my boyfriend at the time to wherever he went to play baseball after I finished my undergrad degree. I was going to choose where I would go to graduate school, based on someone else’s dream. Maggie are you kidding me? After doing some significant growing up and pulling myself out of this rut, I had been stuck in for the past year, you know what I realized? I am a pretty cool person, and I totally lost track of who I was because I was too busy trying to accommodate and be “good enough” for someone else. I am good enough for me!
After some careful thought and analyzing my own life, I realized that I was re-inspired. It was the best feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. I realized that I was doing very well in my college classes and was building great relationships with my professors. I looked around and saw that I had two jobs on campus, was involved in two clubs, in an honor society related to my major all while being a student-athlete. I had so many exceptional things in my life that I didn’t really even appreciate, because I was too wrapped up in someone else, rather than focusing on myself.
I was 19 at the time and I believed that I had my whole life figured out. When my relationship ended, I felt I had nothing figured out. A lost and wandering soul if you will. I dramatically stated that I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after undergrad because my plans had been foiled by the breakup. My friend/teammate looked at me and said “Stop Maggie, you’re 19-years-old you don’t need to have it figured out right now.” She was so right. I have fallen in love with myself again, something I had lost for quite some time. I was re-inspired with my own life. I started to change my way of thinking. Instead of “I am not sure,” I thought “why not.” I am 20, and I don’t have a set plan. I have goals and ambitions but nothing is set in stone. It’s an amazing and liberating way to live life! I have realized that I can go to grad school anywhere I want. I am only responsible for myself. One day I consider going far away to a big school and the next, I consider living at home and going somewhere local. That’s the best part of this, I am young and my options are limitless.
So do it! Fall in love with yourself again, realize that you have so much to offer. Surround yourself with people who better you, not who drag you down. Climb out of that rut that you are in. Fight for yourself and fight hard. Get re-inspired and be excited about your life! Realize the amazing friends, teammates, professors and family members that are in your life. Strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. I discovered that while I was in a bad relationship. I accepted mediocrity from myself, and I will never allow that from myself again. Dream big, get excited and work hard. You may surprise yourself. Fall in love with yourself again and realize how amazing it feels.
