It is officially September, which means many things for me: next month is my birth month, there are less than 8 weeks until my favorite anti-holiday, and my favorite season is almost in full swing. It's time for fall.
Like every other girl in the Midwest, I LOVE fall. I don't know if it's just like a requirement for every girl from ages 16-28 to just absolutely love fall or if it's just a me thing, but there's something about all the plants dying that makes me so darn happy. Today I am here to tell you the top 5 reasons why every single one of us just loves fall.
1. You get to spend money
It gives us a reason to spend money. The three best months of the entire year are October, November and December, which also translates to the prime shopping season. Whether it means spending $5.25 on a non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice latte, or spending 50 dollars on a sweater from Urban Outfitters that I could have stolen out of my grandpa's closet.
Fall is also a precursor to Black Friday which everyone goes nuts about. Except for me. I show my crazy every day of the year, not just the day after Thanksgiving.
2. You get to wear your fat clothes
We can get fat again. Hello oversized sweater, goodbye string bikini. Since it's cooling down outside, we have to put on a few extra pounds naturally in order to protect ourselves for the grueling winter we have ahead of us, or at least that's what we tell ourselves as we eat the 12th cookie in one bite.
Once the leaves change colors, we throw out everything green in our fridge as well, and replace it with those tiny little sugar cookies with the pumpkins and ghosts on them. I mean might as well just wait until January to go on a diet considering grandma is making your favorite casserole for the upcoming holidays and you know you're going to eat half the pan by yourself.
3. Pumpkin everything
Pumpkin. Pumpkin everything. Literally EVERYTHING. Pumpkin coffee, pumpkin creamer, pumpkin cereal, pumpkin candles, pumpkin body spray. You name it, I've bought it.
One year for my birthday (which is October 22nd, I was born to love pumpkin), my best friend got me a big box filled with everything she could find that was pumpkin. There was sparkling water, chapstick, Oreos, and she even brought me a Pumpkin Spice Latte to school. It was singlehandedly the best birthday of my entire life.
4. Fall festivities
Fall activities are basically every girl's favorite thing to do. As a little kid, I think jumping in piles of leaves with my sister is one of my fondest memories. You also get to go to pumpkin patches and take really cute pictures, carve the pumpkins and take really cute pictures (last year I carved a frat boy pumpkin, it was legendary), you get to throw leaves and take really cute pictures. We love fall because we get to take really cute pictures.
Also, my family does this huge apple butter event every year and we all get to take turns stirring the steaming cauldron. While stirring the cauldron my hidden persona shines through: I'm a witch.
5. Halloween
Halloween. I always tell people my mom's actual due date was on Halloween which I think I made up, but we're just gonna go with it because I LOVE Halloween for so many reasons. Exhibit A: the decorations. You are lying if you say you don't spend an extra 20 minutes and 20 dollars everytime you go to Target from September to November because of the amazing Halloween dollar section. We currently have a seasonal hand towel hanging on our stove that says, "Drink up Witches." ARE YOU KIDDING?! Target, please stop stealing my money and my dignity, I beg you.
Exhibit B: the costumes. I love to dress up for Halloween. When I was little, I always had the best costumes because my grandma hand sewed them and they were actual fabric - not that shiny plastic stuff that you spend 50 dollars on and then it rips after cocktail number three. But seriously I love dressing up so much. Last year, my roommates and I were on the way to the Halloween store when we got into a car accident. The other driver and I exchanged information and then we still went and bought Halloween costumes because nothing can ruin my ghoulish spirit.
Basically, if you're a girl, and you live in a state that observes all four seasons, then you love fall. I have to go now, my pumpkin coffee just finished brewing.
