Alien Race Announces Earth Demolition In The Future

Alien Race Announces Earth Demolition In The Future

The Alien race, Vogons, announce that within 50 years, Earth will be demolished for an intergalactic highway!
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Okay so by the bizarreness of the title, you probably realized this couldn't be true. Well it isn't. Any articles that came up around the same time as this suggesting the same thing are absolutely coincidental. So why did I create such a bizarre hoax of a title?

The question is very simple: I AM SICK OF POLITICS!

Seriously! Every online article I come across, every facebook post, tweet, internet meme and SNL sketch has been the same damn thing: Trump! It hasn't even been a week and President Donald Trump has been the main subject of EVERYTHING! I know its controversial and its going down in the history books and, yes our lives might be effected by his plans but to be honest.... I can't find a reason to give a sh**!!

That's right, Donald J. Trump is president, and I couldn't care any less about what stupid decision or stunt he pulls. From throwing hissy fits over jokes being made about him on SNL, to "Oh my god, he left his wife behind at the corner of whatever street and she's dressed up as Jackie Kennedy." And just the fact he's President has given atomic scientists enough to move the big ass hand on the metaphorical Doomsday Clock, THIRTY SECONDS, closer to midnight. We are now two and a half minutes to the end of the world! Funny, because we were at seven minutes to midnight during the Cuban Missile Crisis in the 1960's. Now people are picking on his son. Why don't we just ask him to make an MTV reality show around his presidency in the White House? It will be the next Jersey Shore.

This subject has been over-discussed so much I can't bring anything new to the table, and I can't go through ONE HOUR on my facebook without seeing something related to Politics.

I know politics are important but for God's sake, its not the end of the world! There are other things going on in the world two, I'll take anything not retated to politics as good news because I am sick and tired political tirades being made by the press, and constant jokes, memes and punchlines surrounding Trump and the Republican party.

There are more things to talk about then just politics. Even if its an article surround some neighbor's dog giving birth to puppies, I'll take it as news. I don't have the time, or energy to follow this new culture of political ranting that the internet has adopted. I am all ranted out and I have a personal life to focus on. There are other things to do, places to go, people to see, and books to read.

I hope for more uplifting news, or at least non-politically related news in the future. And look out for more reviews. Thank you for taking time to read this. And I hope some of you got the reference of the title!

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Yeah, Political Correctness Is Cool, But What About Our First Amendment Right?

I want to live in a world where people can express how they feel without causing a riot, is that too much to ask?

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Let me begin by saying, I consider myself to be pretty liberal. I believe in freedom of speech and protecting that right. I'm also a college student in California, which means I've experienced conservative speakers stepping on my campus to spew their ideas.

What encourages these individuals to come to some of the most liberal schools? At first, I didn't understand why conservative speakers would even want to step foot on a liberal college campus.

In 2017, right-wing commentator Milo Yiannopoulos attempted to speak at the University of California at Berkeley. Following protests and riots, more than $100,000 worth of damage resulted. While many of the protestors were unaffiliated with the college, President Trump issued a statement threatening to seize federal funds for UC Berkeley.

Posted to Twitter, because Trump knows that the fastest way he'll get all the attention he so desperately needs, Trump tweeted: "If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view — NO FEDERAL FUNDS?"

Ok, here is the problem. As much as it pains us liberal college students to allow people with obviously opposing views to step foot on our turf, WE HAVE TO.

Here me out. Liberals are supposed to protect free speech, right? Political Correctness is important to practice because language or policies that are meant to cause offense is not something Americans or America should be proud of. Political correctness attempts to avoid offense to particular groups of people in society, so please tell me why this is a bad thing.

Political correctness is not a bad practice. What can be bad, however, is being "too" politically correct. Sometimes balancing the truth and protecting people's feelings is impossible, and here lies the issue at hand.

When college students on liberal campuses like myself prohibit conservative speakers from sharing their beliefs and exercising their first amendment rights, we become the bad guy. We cannot do this, or it will lead to our own demise. When liberals begin telling conservatives they must be politically correct, that is one thing. Political correctness is a good goal to have. Yet, when liberals begin keeping conservative from speaking because of what they have to say, liberals become undemocratic.

I know it's hard. I don't agree with a lot of things conservatives say. I want more people, in general, to adopt political correctness because I am tired of hearing offensive stereotypes, hurtful comments, and overall hate about fellow American citizens.

Can't you say what you need to say without causing others pain?

No, apparently not...and that's the problem about political correctness. Those who do not support its claim that by practicing political correctness, their point is not getting across. When you have to sugarcoat it, the message is lost, or at least that's what people claim when they oppose being politically correct.

I don't understand this in the slightest. I was raised to be kind to others and when I have advantages, I place myself in other peoples' shoes to remind myself to be humble. But some people don't practice the same morals. That's ok.

But political correctness is not the culprit. Me being kind and nonoffensive is not the same thing as me taking away your first amendment right of free speech. Some people don't understand this relationship, however, and thus, political correctness is heavily debated in today's America.

I don't want to limit anyone's freedom of speech. I don't want to appear undemocratic by striving for politically correct language. I don't want liberals like me to be condemned for being unamerican when all we ask is for kindness, compassion, and understanding when you come to our campus.

I do hope America can one day be a hate-free zone where varying beliefs can be practiced without difficulty. Until then, say what you gotta say because it's your right. But please, just be mindful of others when you do.

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