Remember when you had your entire life planned out? Down to the day, you knew exactly what you’d be doing and where you’d be doing it. I hate to tell you, but that’s not the way it works. You won’t be skating for Team USA, going to your “dream school,” or driving a car you bought with your own money. You won’t be spending your summers off from college doing amazing things in Europe or interning for huge broadcasting companies.
That’s not to say you won’t love life as you live it. You won’t get into your dream school, and it’s OK. After the initial bout of tears you’ll get at Nationals, you’ll accept what’s happened and move on after another couple tears. You won’t talk to your team about that email you got and that’s fine. They are there to support you even if they don’t know what’s going on or why you’re so quiet. Lean on them; that’s what teams are for. Trust them; they love you. They’ve seen you at 5am with no makeup and little sleep and at 12am, with full skating makeup, eating cheese and hummus, and a full day behind you. They know who you are, so trust that they will give you good advice and not judge you for something you can’t control.
You’ll enter college as a journalism major, the first step in your dream to becoming a sports broadcaster at ESPN. Soon into the semester, you’ll realize that it’s not what you want to do, and that’s OK too. You’ll soon realize that your “dream school” isn’t actually a dream at all. It’s real life and you’re not happy. So what are you going to do?
You’re going to take charge and make a change. Slowly but surely you are learning to become more independent and take initiative. No longer are you the timid and awkward person in the corner. You may still be awkward, but no longer timid. Now you’re the one making the first move when something’s not right. It’s a good trait, but use it in small quantities. Make sure you step out of the way sometimes, even if you don’t want to. Getting your way all the time isn’t the way to make friends or get ahead. Be accepting and quiet when necessary.
Soon, you’ll find yourself once again moving far away from “home.” You will run to the mountains in hopes that it will help you learn who you are. I hate to break it to you, the mountains help, but you should look within yourself. You will be all alone again. You’re going to need to make new friends again but you can do it. Don’t lose faith and don’t lose your sense of self. It will change and you will change with it. Accept it and move on. Continue living the way you do and you’ll set the world on fire.
Through you’re experiences, you’ll be an outsider in one way or another. Don’t let it get you down and keep plowing forward. You are so strong and these experiences, no matter how hard or defining they are, will create you. Keep skating because you love to skate, not because you feel forced to do so. Skating doesn’t define you so make sure you can define yourself in other words. But at the same time, let it take your life because you want it to.
Keep in mind that you may never know what you want to do. You can keep floating along or you can swim forward. Just try not to swim back. You’ve already been there. Reliving past experiences is great but in the end living in the past is one way to keep yourself from accepting the present. Use who you are to your advantage. Everyone is unique and you are no exception. Use the stereotypes against you to your advantage. Create strong bonds with people who are willing to understand you. Let people go when they don’t accept your quirks but be willing to change. And always remember to have courage and be kind.
Em
