We all know Valentine's Day is a scam (and no, I am NOT just saying that because I am woefully, painfully single...) to make us spend money and make others feel bad about being single, so why can't we just agree to collectively ignore it?
Why do we have to suffer through such a ridiculous "tradition" year after year when all it does is serve to make most people even more miserable than they already are? I feel this way about most holidays, but Valentine's Day is the biggest rip off Hallmark ever came up with. So this year, I'm boycotting it. I'm sure you could find some constructive ways to fill up your time too. Such as...
1. Watch every episode of 'Ancient Aliens'
2. Clip your dog/cat/chinchilla's toenails
3. Catch up on all that homework I know you're not doing
4. Have a root canal
5. Watch Fox News
6. Read a microbiology textbook
7. Talk to your full-grown cousin about his obsession with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
8. Listen to a baby cry for 10 consecutive hours
9. Break a nail
10. Listen to your relatives argue about politics
13. Go to a funeral
14. Rearrange the furniture
I know I wouldn't be caught dead on a Valentine's Day date...
Unless maybe the right guy asked me.