I could go on and on and on about my anxiety disorder. I could sit here and type a few thousand words about the many occasions I have let it take control of me, the countless times it has made me feel incredibly weak and powerless, and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness that surrounds me the second I feel it building up. I could talk for hours about the hundreds of tiny occurrences that never fail to trigger it, the scenarios I've made up in my head because of it, and the opportunities I've given up because I was too afraid it would ruin them for me in the end. I could probably write a book about it if I wanted to, but I wouldn't—because I rarely talk about it at all.

I've never been an emotional person, and I've never been a very open one either. For as long as I can remember, I've been one of those stubborn, bottle-up-your-feelings kind of people. Always the one that gives advice, never the one to ask for it. Always the one to offer help, never the one to accept it. My independent, strong-willed nature has never allowed me to feel comfortable letting my guard down and sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings—even if it's with people I've known and trusted all my life.

This part of my personality has always clashed with my otherwise mellow and easygoing demeanor. There are times when I'm so caught up in my own rapid thoughts and so overwhelmed with mixed feelings that all I want to do is panic or break down, but I know I never would—not in front of others, that is. It's a terrible thing to feel like you're drowning in anxious thoughts that you don't know how to express, and that you're not sure you'd want to even if you could. Suffering with an anxiety disorder and insisting on being quiet about it is a never-ending, self-contradicting paradox. If there's one thing I want people like me to understand, it's that it's nothing to be ashamed of, and there are many ways to cope without telling the entire world about it.

Keep yourself busy.

Throughout the years, I've realized that the only thing that keeps me grounded is making sure I have plenty to do. Being an anxious person means always being up and moving and rarely partaking in "down time" —which isn't always a terrible thing. I find that the more I keep my hands busy and my mind occupied, the less time I have to stress, overthink and worry. At the end of a productive day, I feel at ease knowing I accomplished so much on my own, leaving less room for me to criticize myself.

Remember that you're never alone—even if you'd like to think you are.

You can't help it if you're not an open person. If you feel more comfortable keeping to yourself than explaining your every problem to your friends and family in hopes that someone might understand where you're coming from, learn to be okay with that. I spent years feeling frustrated with myself for not letting anyone break down my barriers, not allowing myself to trust people who I felt deserved it, and not trying harder to admit when I need a break. It's important to keep in mind that you're one of thousands of people who deal with anxiety on a daily basis, and everyone has a different way of coping with it. Over time, you will learn exactly what's best for you in your most anxious moments.

Always find a balance.

As much as you'd like to think you're invincible, you unfortunately are not. One person can only handle so much, regardless of the strength and tolerance for bullsh*t you've built up. There's comes a time when even you need some time to get your shit together. Overworking yourself almost never has a successful outcome, so find a balance in everything you do. Make time to lay in bed and watch your favorite movie, to get drinks with friends, or to sleep in later than you should. The chaos is your comfort zone, and it's always a good idea to step away from it once in a while.