Growing up, I had pretty clear skin. Sure, there was the occasional pimple, but I never really broke out. Acne was never something that bothered me, but it sure did bother some of my friends. A lot of people I knew were constantly trying new products to find a cure, but I didn't understand what the big deal was.
All my friends were still beautiful, so why were they obsessing over it?
I didn't understand it fully until I was sixteen. While my friends were growing out of the extreme break-out phase, mine was just beginning. Let me give some background on my acne adventure. When I was sixteen, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS is a hormonal disorder that doesn't have any known cause yet. There isn't a cure for it, either. It also has a lot of symptoms, including weight gain, menstrual problems, and a whole lot of acne.
To say the least, it sucked.
For the first time in my life, I became obsessed with trying to rid my face of any acne. I quickly learned that it was easier said than done. Over the past two years, I have tried multiple face wash brands, every kind of skin care routine, DIY acne treatments, and a lot more. There was nothing that ever seemed to work, so most of the time, I used a full coverage foundation and concealer to cover up anything.
If I couldn't have clear skin, I could at least pretend I did.
For those two years, my self-esteem crumbled and my insecurities piled on top of one another. I looked into the mirror only to see splotchy red cheeks with what looked like mountains and craters of the moon littering my face. I hated the way I looked for a long time. Fast forward to March of my senior year of high school. Life flipped upside down. The pandemic hit and school switched to remote learning. It was a lot to take in at once.
To my surprise, quarantine helped my situation.
Personally, I didn't have too many online lectures, so I didn't really wear makeup for the time being. After all, if no one was going to see me, then no one could judge me. For those first couple months of staying home, I didn't really worry about anything. Even on the occasions that I did leave, I still had a mask that would cover the part of my face that had acne. If I'm being honest, I strangely became fond of masks because it was less work to hide all the pimples.
As life started to slowly adapt to a new normal, I did, too.
As I entered college, I noticed a change in the way I viewed myself. It wasn't until one night when I noticed what happened. I was invited to go out to dinner with a few friends, so I began to do my makeup. I noticed I hadn't even thought to put on foundation or even concealer.
I looked in the mirror expecting an ugly red face. Instead, I discovered a girl I hadn't seen in a while. I saw myself.
I looked long and hard because the acne was there. The redness was there, but it just didn't bother me. I found it endearing and smiled because I liked who I saw in the mirror. She was beautiful, acne and all.
Who would have thought that a girl could feel beautiful without covering up her acne? I never thought it possible, but here I am to say that it is.
To everyone that struggles with acne, stop being ashamed of it.
Whether it's from puberty, stress, or even just your hormones, acne does not cover up the fact that you are beautiful! Acne is a part of being human! Pimples are not going to go away overnight. You do not need that expensive face wash that someone recommended to get rid of it, nor do you need to cover it up in layers of makeup. It's a part of you, so embrace it!
You do not need the clearest or smoothest skin to feel pretty. Find confidence in yourself.
After almost two years of insecurity, I have learned to accept myself as I am. I stopped trying to quickly get rid of my acne and learned to just take care of my skin. I still have acne littering my cheeks, and I can't say it will go away anytime soon. But I can say that we are all as beautiful as we can possibly be.
