Dear Over-Achiever,
I understand you. I understand the urge to move onward and upward at a breakneck pace. I understand the satisfaction you feel for approximately .02 seconds before you start formulating a new goal in your head. I know what it's like to not be able to say no. It's not that you are irrational, it is just that in the moment, you are so truly excited for a new opportunity. I know the panic you feel about 5 minutes after you make another commitment when you are realized that you are stretched further than your old yoga pants you have been wearing since junior year of high school. You start formulating a new schedule in your head, that will accommodate all of your obligations so you don't let anyone down. Your days get longer and longer, and your nights get shorter and shorter. You calculate down to the minute how long you have to wake up, get ready, eat, exercise, go to class, go to meetings, go to work, and the thousand other things you have to do every day.
I know what it is like to exhaust yourself. I understand how it feels to not want to get out of bed in the morning because you haven't had time to relax in what feels like centuries. I am here to tell you to stop.
Don't do this to yourself. Don't put yourself in a situation where you run yourself into the ground. I can say this because I have done just that, and I crashed and burned. Yet here I am again, not learning my lesson, putting myself on that one-way trip to burn out once more. However, you can save your ship. You can learn to say no. You don't have to take anything else on. It is okay to say you truly don't have time. No one is going to do this for you. You have got to save a little bit for yourself, a little time, a little money, a little quiet, a little space, a little fun.
It is so easy to get caught up in doing everything for everyone. However innocent your motivations are. You can't keep doing things for other people. You are draining yourself, while also hurting those that are coming to you for aid. You are showing others that it is acceptable to be dependent on someone else to fix your problems. This was the first lesson I had to learn, on my journey to self-care. If you truly want to help someone, then encourage them to solve their own problems.
The second lesson I had to learn is that it is okay to not be perfect. My friend once shared with me that you will be happier if you get a B in school and an A in life as opposed to getting an A in school and an F in life. You are more than the classes you take. You are your activities, your friends, your health, your family, you adventures, your experiences. The world will not end if you don't have a 4.0 which is something I didn't believe until I got my first B.
So, my dear over-achievers, my advice is this. Don't forget who you are and what makes you happy. Strive to be excellent like you always do, but give yourself some grace. Learn to say no before you have no other choice. Take time for yourself. And get an A in life.
