When You Finally Accept Your Breakup, Read This...

When You Finally Accept Your Breakup, Read This...

Think back on it positively.

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When the spring semester began, I remember sitting in one of my new classes on the second day catching up with some of my English education friends that I hadn't had classes with in over a year. We were asking each other questions about life and then the topic of who I was dating came up. You see, they remembered me from back when I had a longterm college boyfriend, so they were asking what happened between us.

It's been a long time since they had seen me and it had been a while since I had even thought about my past relationship, so I found myself letting out every negative thing in the book. I found myself telling them about how harshly he left me and how broken I was for a while. One of my friends sat there just shocked. She couldn't believe someone would do these things to me. The other girl just sat there and looked at me, unfazed by what I was saying.

I kept wondering because of her reactions if I had said something wrong or literally any other excuse in the book. Then, she said to me something I have been thinking about ever since that day, "Well was it a good relationship at least?" It took me a second before I could respond because I had to think. I had to go back and think of the numerous good times instead of the few bad times.

I think this is something everyone struggles with when we go through a breakup, thinking fo the positive times. We tend to focus on the bad ways someone ended it or the little red flags we "should've seen coming" when really, once we accept it within ourselves that the relationship is over, we should think about the good things they may have done for us and what positive life lessons we may have learned from the relationship. No one has ever asked me something like that before. When you go through a breakup, everyone wants to know what they did to us. The world wants to know the dirt rather than the truth, and yes sometimes the dirt is the truth, but you can't just dwell on that one moment.

I've been trying to put that mentality into practice as I was healing from my abusive relationship. I can easily recall the horrific times, but I also have to remind myself what positive things I gained from that experience. For example, I learned some warning signs for the future, I learned how to speak up for myself, I learned about confidence and how no matter how many times he would compare me to his exes that I was worth more than he was worthy of seeing, and above all, I learned how to advocate for myself and how to rely on myself for happiness rather than from the help of a man. Now even though my long term college boyfriend was a completely different guy than my abusive ex, the mentality still is equal in both senses.

When you begin to think back on your relationship, think of what you gained from it. Relationships are hard and take work, but they help shape you into the person you're meant to be later on in life.

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10 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Be Mad At You

In a relationship it's not always sunshine and rainbows...

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Relationships. It is always nice starting up a new relationship because everything is so new and exciting. You manage to think everything your significant other says or does is cute.

After a few months that happy bubble bursts, and suddenly your girlfriend is getting mad at you for all kinds of reasons.

Here are 10 reasons why your girlfriend might be mad at you:

1. You have selective hearing.

It's wonderful when your significant other conveniently forgets things you discuss or tunes you out because they are either focused on something else or they don't want to deal with whatever it is that you are talking about. You get my sarcasm here right??

2. Your texting is not the greatest.

How hard is it to pick up your phone and send a "good morning" text? Or simply respond to texts within a decent amount of time? You don't have to respond within seconds, but taking several hours to respond is annoying and makes her feel like she is not important enough to get a text back.

3. You didn't read her mind.

She's having a bad day. You assume she wants her space because of her anger, when in reality, she was hoping you would come over and comfort her. Now she's mad that you didn't come chill and be grumpy together.

4. She had a dream that you did something bad.

How dare you cheat on her with that girl in her dream?! Even though it wasn't real, she will probably wake up disgusted and hold it against you for the rest of the day.

5. You're always late.

"I'll be there at 5:00." *Arrives at 5:30. * Even when you just have plans to stay in, plans are plans. Your girlfriend probably rushed trying to get ready for you and to show up late doesn't make it seem like you respect her time.

6. She gave you options but you made the wrong choice.

Go see the latest Marvel movie or see a rom-com? Of course, you're going to pick the Marvel movie even though she really wanted to see the rom-com. Ooops.

7. The toilet seat.

…Just put the freaking seat down!!!

8. She feels underappreciated.

Sometimes in relationships we get so comfortable that we forget to make sweet gestures to show we appreciate one another.

9. One-word responses.

Nothing is more annoying than sending your significant other a text or explaining something that is basically as long as a novel and getting a one-word response like "ok" or "oh." So cool.

10. You don't make her a priority.

Sure, there is no problem with family and work being a priority in your life. What gets annoying is when you can't seem to make family, work, AND your girlfriend a priority. Make sure you aren't making her feel like she is an option or a way to pass time.


Relationships are a lot of work. Make sure you are communicating with your partner, even about the unpleasant stuff. She can't stay mad at you forever if you are genuinely trying to be the best boyfriend to her you can be!

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5 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be A Dirty Rotten Cheater

Now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you.

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I just spent the last week with my jaw on the floor after the discovery that my best friend spent the better part of 2 years with a guy who was actually cheating ( a lot ) basically the entire length of their relationship. And now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you. If you encounter any of the following 5 signs, then girl you better get the hell outta dodge.

1. You NEVER get the invite to family gatherings.

Holidays

Brunch with the fam? He's not calling you. Christmas Eve at Aunt Sheryl's? He's not calling you. His sister's birthday party? He's definitely not calling you. It may not seem like a big deal at first, but if he has met your mom, your dad, and your cousins and still isn't inviting you to come along, it's probably because he doesn't want his mom to get confused that he had a totally different girl over last week.

2. He can't stand you being anywhere near his phone.

Cheater's Phone

I would think this one is an obvious red flag, but you'd be surprised how many people believe guys who say they just want you to "respect their privacy." If he is constantly texting, snapping and shoving his phone into his pocket immediately after hitting that lock screen, you may very well be in for a world of hurt. If it's going off at 2 AM, well girl, I shouldn't have to say more to convince you he's cheating.

3. You rarely go out in public.

Dating

I know, I know, he's told you a hundred times that he's just a homebody and would rather be snuggled up watching "Catfish" with you than going out anywhere, but that's probably because he is just scared you guys will run into his other girlfriend. If you do end up going out, it's always out of town or something loud and crowded like a concert where you guys would be hard to spot.

4. He NEVER wants to post about you two on social media.

Cell Phone

He says stuff like "Oh, I just don't feel the need to publicize our love." or maybe "I have a crazy ex and I don't want her to harass you online." Those are both actually just lies. What he really wants to say is "I just don't want evidence and time stamps of our relationship in case I get caught." The best is when they tell you about how they like girls who are off the grid. Sounds like a cheater to me...

5. He's constantly accusing you of cheating.

Accusing

Most girls I know will chalk this up to him just being a jealous guy. But let me tell you something honey, nothing makes you more paranoid than a guilty conscious. If every time you two argue, it divulges into him saying he's not sure if he can trust you or that you have too many guy friends or that he wonders what you're doing on nights without him, well he's probably just manifesting his own fears.

There are no promises here that he is definitely cheating, and if you really trust your man then more power to you. But if any of these signs had you thinking about your own relationship, then I highly recommend that you move on to the next one girl. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, even fish who won't cheat on you!

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