"You need to change outfits, that looks terrible on you."
When you think you look awesome that day.
"Do you really think you should get another piece?"
When you just want it and deserve it.
"I don't like you like this. You're not your happy, fun self."
When you feel like you're dying from stress.
"You need to do what I like to do because I'm more messed up than you."
STOP!
You don't need people in your life that say these things to you. You are strong.
I was told all of these things and more.
Flash forward to me hurting myself by banging my head against the wall because I thought no one cared.
I was right! Not about no one caring. But about the people that were supposed to care about me. They didn't care. Because if they did I wouldn't have gotten to that point. If they did I wouldn't have thought that I was worthless, thought that I would never get anywhere, thought that I was a bad friend. I trusted those people to care about me because I thought that's what I deserved, but it wasn't.
It's hard to accept the love we deserve. But it's more painful to accept the love we think we deserve.
I'm still working on accepting the love I deserve, but I have an amazing best friend that supplies that love.
She never tells me I need to change, and when I feel bad about what I'm wearing she compliments me even more.
She never tells me not to eat something. HECK! she'll eat it with me.
And when I'm stressed she helps me relax and listens to me.
I never feel as though I let her know how much I love and appreciate her but she is one of my forever friends.
The friends that said all of those horrible things made me hate myself.
But one did have one good piece of advice. He said to me, "One day you're gonna know how strong you are, and it's gonna make or break our friendship. And I can't wait to see that strength."
I don't think he expected this outcome.
I AM STRONG! I'm OK being alone. I'm OK walking, eating, working alone. Because when I am alone I only have myself to tear me down, not anyone else, especially not someone who's supposed to be a friend.
In that time that I'm alone I can talk to God, my brother, friends that are good to me, go for a drive, or work on something new. I don't have to ask permission or have a companion.
For me, I used the website blahtherapy.com to talk to others. They helped me realize what was happening and without them I don't know where I'd be. Also on the site you can help others in similar situations by being a helping hand and listening. It's a win-win situation.
Abuse is abuse. Emotional abuse is abuse. End it.
