Forgive me if the reality that I will be a grandbig in a few days has gotten me a little nostalgic, but it only seemed fitting that this week I write about the Big/Little experience and how to be a great Big.
I’m not saying I’m some pillar of excellence for how a Big should act, but I do think my year of experience with being a Big sister has allowed me to give some advice on how to make sure you do it right!
1. You are your little’s role model in your sorority. Take that role seriously. Your Little looks up to you, so it’s important that you serve as a prime example of what it’s like to be a member in your sorority. Since you are a mentor to your Little during her new member period, it’s better for her to see that you are involved in your sorority and in love with your sisterhood than it is for her to see you missing meetings and acting like a hot mess every weekend.
2. Be there for her when she needs you. If a guy breaks her heart, show up to her room with tissues, ice cream, and a shoulder to cry on. If she has a long night of studying at the library, bring her coffee and some kind words of encouragement. When she’s sick, offer to bring her soup and medicine. You’re kind of like your Little’s mom away from home… that is, if her mom was a moscato drinking, letters wearing, party going sophomore in college.
3. Introduce her to your friends. Especially the ones in your sorority so she can become friends with them too. Have your friends bring their Littles along when you’re all hanging out so they can bond with each other and know more people in their pledge class. Introducing your Little to your friends shows her that she’s an important part of your life.
4. Introduce her to boys. Need I say more?
5.Take her out with you. If your Little likes going out, take her to the bars and mixers with you. Once you’re there, don’t just ditch her though. Make sure she feels comfortable and is having a good time. If she’s fine doing her own thing, at least keep an eye on her throughout the night to make sure she hasn’t drank too much or wants to go home with a guy who you think is bad news. Other places you could take your Little, especially if your she doesn’t like to go out, are to a drive in movie, shopping, getting your nails done, or a school sporting event.
6. Don’t let the fire burn out. The first few weeks of having a Little are awesome because the novelty of having this new mini-me best friend is so exciting. Unfortunately, I’ve often heard girls complain that their bigs stopped hanging out with them as soon as a month or so after big Little reveal. Your Little is not a new shiny toy that you eventually get tired of playing with.
7. Make her feel wanted, loved, and appreciated. Greet her with a big hug or at least a warm smile whenever you see her. Be excited and proud to tell people she’s your Little, especially when she’s around. Another thing you can do to make your Little feel loved is by remembering things about her. Show you care by sending her a “good-luck” text before her test, or go to her dance recital, play, or whatever else she is involved in on campus to show your support.
8. Look at your relationship with your big. Think about your big and the relationship that you two have. Do you want your relationship with your Little to be like the relationship you have with your big. All of the things she did for you that made you happy and bonded you two together are probably things that you should carry over into your relationship with your Little. For example, last summer when I got my wisdom teeth out my big sent me a bouquet of my favorite flowers. It was the sweetest gesture knowing that even from hundreds of miles away she was still trying to brighten my day. On the other hand, even if you don’t have the closest relationship with your big (which is okay, not every Big/Little pair work out), take those experiences of things that went wrong with you two and how she treated you and make sure that you act differently towards your little than your big did towards you.
9. Make time for her. I get it; we all get busy in our lives, but try to always make room for some quality time with your Little. It could be as easy as taking a workout class together, getting dinner, studying together, or talking and walking around campus to catch up and get exercise at the same time. Make sure that when she’s having a hard time with something and needs your advice you’ll make time to be there for her.
