Being a 20-something sucks.
Especially when you are constantly seeing people your age getting married, or having their first kid, or buying their first house. It can feel overwhelming. You can feel like you’re dragging behind everyone else.
But chances are, you’ve got it more figured out than you realize. Here are nine signs to let you know that you’re more grown up than you think you are.
1. You don’t hate anybody or hold any grudges.
When you are a mature, adult person, you realize that the negative feelings and emotions do nothing to benefit you – or harm the person you are holding a grudge against. So you let it go. Because nothing is more important than your inner peace.
2. You depend more on internal validation than validation from others.
When we are young and insecure and don't really know who we are yet, we need constant praise and compliments. We need a certain number of likes on our selfie. We need everybody to tell us how great we are, all the time. But as you get older and more mature, you realize confidence and self-worth come from within - you can't depend on others to give it to you.
Don't get me wrong, compliments from others are great, and it's nice to receive them. But part of being an adult means you don't need them to feel good about yourself all the time.
3. You compliment more than you criticize others – including yourself.
Confidence is quiet, but insecurities are loud. An immature person likes to put down others. They criticize somebody’s appearance, somebody’s personal decisions, somebody’s car, somebody’s house, the list goes on and on. But a mature person with insecurities knows to work on improving them – not by cutting others down, but by building themselves up.
4. You don’t complain that often.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life, you stay positive. You find the good in every situation. Rather than complain about things and doing nothing about them, you don’t complain – and you act on changing the things you want to complain about.
5. You don’t feel like the world owes you anything.
An immature person thinks they are entitled to things. They’re entitled to that job just because they went to college. They’re entitled to the guy/girl they like just because they’re nice to that person. They’re entitled to a comfortable living just because they work hard. A mature person realizes that they aren’t owed anything – and that anything they have, they have because they earned it.
6. You are in touch with your feelings and know how to express them in a healthy way.
If somebody hurts you, you know how to communicate with that person that they hurt you in a mature, reasonable way. And that doesn't mean ignoring them until they figure out you're upset and approach you. If you have feelings for somebody, you don't play games; you're honest and upfront about how you feel. You don't hide from your feelings or repress them. You aren't passive aggressive. You say what you think and feel.
7. You care about other people's feelings, too.
There comes a point where you have to realize you and your feelings aren't the center of the universe anymore. You think before you speak. When somebody tells you they don't like something, you listen and don't do it again. It's a simple concept, but you'd be amazed at how many "adults" disregard people's feelings on a regular basis, even after knowing better.
8. You take care of your body.
Part of growing up means realizing “fast food” isn’t a food group, and that you should probably have a gym membership. You don’t need to be a fitness fanatic, but part of being an adult is realizing you can’t binge watch Netflix and eat a whole bag of Cheetos every single day anymore.
9. You’re passionate about something – and you pursue it.
Whether it’s a common passion like writing or running, or even something more obscure like Native American Sign language, an adult realizes they should have passions and things they enjoy doing in their free time. Adults find something they are good at, that they enjoy. And then, they do it.
So sit back, take a deep breath, and relax. Stop freaking out that all your friends engaged or married and seem to have it all figured out while you’re home alone on a Friday night eating Nutella from a jar. Chances are, you have this whole “adult” thing more figured out than you think.
