The "bro" girl - such a friendly, easy-going unicorn. She's one in a dozen, really. Or is she? Ever so frequently I hear girls complaining that they can only get along with boys. These ladies claim that they can't tolerate women and because their female counterparts have not treated them well, they've decided to jump ship and cross to "bro" kingdom. I would know. I'm one of those girls.
Over the past seven years, I've only had one real girlfriend and to this day, 90% of my crew consists of men. It just feels right. I don't bang my head against the wall analyzing why. I just do me. This is why I get so damn pissed when a new girl approaches me and starts explaining how she's such a "bro," while I can see right through the fake that she is. Here are the 9 differences between a real "bro" girl and a wannabe.
1. Overanalyzing.
Bros take things as they are. If a guy/ girl says "I can't hang, I'm busy," it's cause he/she is busy. Shocker, right? If you're sitting around wondering whether he won't go out with you because you're fat or because he's threatened by your fierceness, you're wasting your time. (By the way, it's probably not the latter, unless you're Beyonce). If he says he's busy, then he's busy. Bro girls don't hypothesize. We accept things as they are and react accordingly.
2. Backstabbing.
Newsflash: drama is so 2004. Leave that Regina George sh*t home. I'm sick of girls who pretend to be chill, enter the friend group and start making drama happen. Guys and bro girls don't do that. If intrigue follows you around, you've got no right to claim you're a bro and you can't sit with us.
3. Using girls to get to guys.
There are bro girls, then there are girls who use other girls to get to the bros. If you come over to my house only to try to hook up with my hot guy roommate, you have got to go. A true bro girl is chill enough for the boys to come to her. She doesn't need to exploit others.
4. Caring about your appearance too much.
Neither bros nor bro girls carry a pocket mirror. When I see you pull out your powder box and go pimple hunting, I know you're not one of us.
5. Bitching about your hips.
Bro girls are comfortable with both their personality and body. We don't care if we eat a slice of pizza too much or drink one too many beers. Bro girls are so cool because they are confident and don't feel the need to bitch about every diet mishap. Take the scales somewhere else.
6. Avoiding girls on purpose.
It's one thing to hang out with bros because girls don't treat you well, but it's a whole other story to avoid girls on purpose and then claim they don't want to be friends with you. If you're cool, bros will accept you regardless of how you get or do not get along with women. Being a bro girl doesn't limit you to just hanging out with guys.
7. Screwing over your boys.
Bro girls know very well that friendships come before anything else. If you fall for a guy, fine, go have a fling, but don't be that girl who pretends to be a bro just to screw and ditch someone. Bros have feelings, you know. Respect that.
8. Not being able to tolerate field conditions.
Bros aren't big on comfort. We like to drink beers in the woods, go water ski without towels or a change of clothes and we totally enjoy barbecuing and sleeping under the stars in the company of bugs. We don't mind discomfort. Now, if you can't live without your hair dryer or makeup kit, you're probably not a bro.
9. Pretending to be a sports guru.
Confession time: I suck at following sports news. I really don't care as much about Peyton Manning or the Sox as much as I care about politics and travel, but guess what? It's all right. That's because even if I have different interests that the boys, I stay true to them and don't go wasting all my energy following someone else's hobbies. Bro-ness really comes from being genuine, confident and comfortable in your skin. No bros would reject you if you didn't see the Bruins game last night.