Now that I've graduated from college, I look forward to the holidays in a completely different way. Before, I would count down the days until I got a home cooked meal, and got away from where I spent majority of my life whether that be in a lab, at work, or in the library pulling all-nighters. Don't get me wrong, I loved college but there comes a time in the semester when you #needabreak. Since Thanksgiving comes first in the awkward holiday questions department, I figured I would help some of you out in how to address those questions you are dreading. For those who may be graduating soon, you will be bombarded with questions about how school is going, what your plans are after graduation, and if there is a new hottie in the picture. For those who are fresh out of college, like me, and have been in the real world for a couple of months, you may get all different types of questions about your work life, love life, whether or not you have your life together, etc. Regardless of your situation, may the odds be in your favor...
1. How's school going?
Oh lord... here we go. Talk about how great the food is, accompanied with an "it's alright" gesture. They say less is more right?
2. Are you dating anyone?
I think, "I'm single as a pringle ready to mingle" should do the trick. But if not, thank them for bringing to your attention that you will be #foreveralone and make it clear that you know you're not getting any younger.
3. But what about that boy you were talking to.. What was his name again?
"[insert name of boy here] who? I don't recall ever knowing someone with that name. I think you made him up?" This can go one of two ways, they'll believe you or it will trigger more questions. I didn't say I was an expert.
4. What are your plans after graduation?
"What was that mom? I think my mom just called me, I'm going to go see what she wants." Run... even if she isn't calling you, make it believable.
5. You're going for seconds?
"Do you know me at all? Heck yes, I'm going in for a second round. Thanksgiving is only once a year. This is a no-judgement zone." You get those seconds and you enjoy them. You deserve it.
6. How's [insert sport you quit years ago] going?
It's a trap. They know you quit this sport years ago and want to feel it out to see if you workout and are staying healthy. The best way to respond is as follows: "Yes, the freshman 15 is real. Yes, this sweater is 10 times tighter than it was when I bought it. And I know walking to the kitchen and back to my room doesn't count as exercise but I appreciate you for pointing out my rolls." Grab another dinner roll and keep it moving. I'm thinking they'll get the picture.
7. So, what are your thoughts on the election?
Deflect. Deflect. Deflect.
And last but certainly not least...
8. What are you thankful for this year?
Easy: "All of you, of course!"
They're your fam[ily] and you love them and regardless of the awkward questions about your life that you don't have together. Kick back, relax, and stuff your face. Maybe they'll chill with the questions if your mouth is full all of the time. Good luck and happy eating!
