I was born in Guatemala. My adoption in Rhode Island court was official in November of 1998. I came home to the US in March of the same year. I became a US citizen when I was three. I have lived in Rhode Island my whole life and consider myself an equal to every person born here in the US. My status as someone who was adopted has never changed the way I look at myself. I have known that I was adopted for as long as I can remember. I never really thought anything of it when I was little - I just knew that I was. As I've grown up, I've realized that there are a bunch of things that go along with being adopted. Some of those things are awesome, and some, not so much. For everyone who is adopted, you can relate to these. As for the rest of you, please enjoy living vicariously through myself and other adoptees with this list of eight things that come with being adopted.
1. Being asked about your "real parents."
Blair Waldorf's expressions in this GIF are mine when I'm asked anything about my "real parents." First, I struggle to hide my eye roll, and then I put on a fake smile as I pretend to be happy answering the question. I'd like to make something very clear. My "real parents" are the ones who adopted me. Whoever decided that my mom (and dad) shouldn't be considered real because they are not biologically tied to me is ignorant, and that way of thinking offends adoptees and their parents. Next time you're about to ask an adopted person about their "real parents," take a second to reconsider your choice of words or risk pissing off and offending the person you're talking to. Thanks.
2. Sometimes feeling like an exotic princess because people are so fascinated by the fact that you were born in a different country.
Ok, so maybe the princess part is an exaggeration. But sometimes people are so excited by the fact that you were born in a land far, far away and are so enthusiastic over it that you feel pretty awesome and when you're feeling pretty good about yourself, it's easy to spiral into your forever dream that you're actually a princess. It's kind of like, heck yeah, I'm a bad ass girl from a foreign country and you are my new people.
3. Having extra days to celebrate.
Everyone celebrates their birthday, Christmas and all the other main holidays. Growing up as an adopted child, I was fortunate enough to celebrate all of those plus coming home day and adoption day! We celebrated adoption day twice- one for when my adoption became official in Guatemala, and one for when it was official in the US. More days dedicated to me? I'll take it.
4. An excuse to go on vacation to visit your motherland.
Everyone wants to go on vacation, but sometimes it can be hard to find the time or figure out where to go. When you're born in another country, and you haven't been back since your adoption, you already have the destination of your next vacation. Going to Guatemala my sophomore year of high school during winter break was by far one of the best experiences I've ever had. The picture above is the lakeside pool at Hotel Atitlan, one of the hotels we stayed at during our visit to Guatemala.
5. People associating adoption of people with the "adoption" of highways and other nonhuman things.
Seriously? Hermione's grimace couldn't be more accurate. This has actually happened to me. When I was younger, I was once asked if my adoption happened by my mom seeing a sign similar to an "adopt a highway" sign and paying a lot of money to a company in order to get me. No, that is not how adoption works. This is why "adopt a highway" campaigns and others similar to it are so offensive. Am I on the same value level as a highway or a monkey? I'm sure the creator of them didn't intentionally disrespect adoption, but they did, and now it needs to be stopped. Is it so hard to change the name of your campaigns?
6. Being nothing like anyone else in your family.
The fact that you look nothing like your family is obvious, but it can be so much fun. While my mom is complaining about her inability to tan because of her delicate Irish skin, I'm delighting in my naturally tan skin that easily gets darker in the summer. I was also blessed with talent in the music department, while my mom has no skill in that area. If I had been her biological child, I probably wouldn't be pursuing music as a career. So thanks for adopting me, mom!
7. Wondering/dreaming about your biological family.
Sometimes I have dreams about what I think might be my biological family. I wasn't old enough to remember them when I was adopted, but it's the same dream every time with the same family. It's always a nice dream and even though it's most likely just my imagination, I sometimes wonder if it isn't. Whether it's my imagination or not, I am curious about my biological family. As of right now, I'm not curious enough to want to try and find them, but you never know! Maybe one day I will want to, but for now, I'm comfortable not knowing them or searching for them.
8. Knowing how lucky you are.
Being adopted gives you a unique perspective on life. I was born to a mother who couldn't take care of me so she chose to give me a better life. I was adopted by a mother who wanted children and couldn't have them herself, so she chose to be that new life for me. I know that I am so lucky to live in the home I live in today with wonderful family and friends and I know I was so lucky to have my biological mother give me the opportunity of a lifetime, literally. I don't take that for granted.
