Trigger warning: Mental illness, depression, anxiety, and self harm/suicide mention
Neurotypicals are exactly what the name insinuates- people who are, neurologically speaking, typical. Many neurotypicals are very understanding and willing to work with people like me, who have one or more mental disorders/illnesses. However, we all know that nothing is wholly perfect. There are also many neurotypicals who outright deny that my mental illnesses exist. That, dear readers, is why I am here today. I want to tell you the things that neurotypicals say which I cannot stand.
1. Saying "it's not that bad/just get over it"
Don't tell me you're just "trying to be positive" or "helping [me] see that [I] have nothing to be sad about". If you really wanted to help me, you wouldn't invalidate me like that. I don't want to hear "it's not that bad". No one wants to hear that. Stop saying that.
2. Saying "Have you tried not being sad?"
OH MY GOD! I'M CURED- Not.
Of course I've tried. I've tried and tried and tried. But that's not how it works. I can't just think real hard and suddenly my neurons will suddenly start picking up just the right amount of serotonin, exactly when they should be. Chemical imbalances don't just go away because I force myself to smile.
3. Use words like "bipolar" or "OCD" to describe themselves.
I'm sorry, since when did "bipolar" mean indecisive and "OCD" mean that you just like things neat? Since when did "psychotic/psycho" mean you just have a temper? Since when was it okay to take an illness that affects nearly 18.2 percent of the american adult population and completely distort it and use it to joke about how mad you get when your boyfriend doesn't text back?
Newsflash: It's not. Knock it off.
4. Romanticize depression and anxiety.
Don't romanticize illnesses that cause people to commit suicide. It's not beautiful for someone to be so depressed that they hurt themselves just to feel something. It's not cute that I'm so anxious, I feel like I'm going to throw up just because I'm driving home. It's horrible that these things happen. It's horrible that mental illnesses affect anyone. Don't romanticize them.
5. Saying you have a mental illness when you don't, just to be "quirky".
This one kind of ties into the last two, but I felt it also needed to be said. Mental illnesses are not quirky. They are not a fashion accessory you can get to make you more appealing. They are chemical imbalances in the brain. They are things that ruin lives. They hurt people.
6. Writing blogs about how hard it is "loving" us.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize my mental health was an inconvenience to YOU. I didn't know that MY narrative was YOURS to post on your god-awful blog. No, I'm not interested in how you "love [me] anyways". No, I'm not interested in how you still care about me "in spite of" my mental illnesses.
I don't want you to only love bits and pieces of me. I want you to love ALL of me. Mental illnesses and all. Because, as much as they are illnesses, they are a part of me. They color the way I view the world and myself. They impact my entire world. It's not okay to say you only love the bits of me that you think are acceptable, because that's not love.
7. Telling me how mentally ill people look.
"You don't look mentally ill."
What am I supposed to look like? Am I supposed to be sobbing constantly? Am I supposed to be shaking 24/7? What does a mentally ill person look like?
8. Telling me how to cope with/handle my illness.
"You should exercise more!"
"You just need to get outside!"
"You need to take something natural, not anti-depressants!"
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. God forbid I not cope in a way you deem "appropriate". God forbid I cope by crying, or sleeping, or eating junk food, or spending all day on my computer, or by taking an anti-depressant/SSRI.
I can handle my mental illness, so, Neurotypicals, how 'bout you just... Butt out?
