As a college golfer, my life has been overtaken by golf for almost as long as I can remember. Long summers of tournaments, long days of practice, hours of course studying, and course after course being repeatedly convinced you're a terrible golfer and should hang it up. Sounds fun, right? If you've been bitten by the golf bug, you'll have no problems relating to this list, but if you're in complete denial that you're a real-life golfer, you're about to be rudely awakened to the reality that is your golf life.
1. Terrible tan lines.
Neapolitan ice cream is a pretty accurate comparison of a golfer's tan lines. Painfully pasty feet. Three different shades of tan on your arms and legs. One tan hand and one white hand from the constant glove wearing. It's a struggle to get a nice even tan when you can't very well wear pool attire on the golf course.
2. Your golf buddies.
The chances of your go-to golf partner being an elderly man who's partial to day drinking is ridiculously high. As much as we deny it, the most reliable golf buddies tend to be the retired men of leisure whose favorite hang-outs include the golf course and the VFW.
3. The ideal sunny day activity.
Your friends all plan pool days when the forecast is looking promising, but you're calling every local golf course to book as many tee times as you can. Sure, it's hot out and the pool would be nice, but you'd rather sweat miserably for four hours just for the sheer joy of marking down that birdie.
4. Mini golf is NOT golfing.
It drives you absolutely insane when people say "Oh, cool, you golf. I can play mini golf." No. Just, no.
5. Polos....so many polos.
You probably own more polos and khakis than you do tee shirts or any cute clothes for that matter. This, in turn, leads to larger problems ... see item number one.
6. Tee's and golf balls everywhere.
You find random tees and golf balls everywhere. In your car, in the washer, in the dryer, on your desk, on your sink, in your pockets, etc. They pop up everywhere, even when you're not golfing.
7. No, all golf balls are not created equal.
You know that all golf balls do not fly the same, spin the same, feel the same, or bounce the same. No matter how confusing this may be to non-golfers, you're very aware of the differences between a Pro V1 and a Top Flite.
If you find yourself relating to any item on this list, congratulations, you're a golfer. It's something I call myself, and even though I'm not happy with the unusual tan lines, I'm pretty proud to be a golfer.
