7 Ways An Introvert Says “I Love You”

7 Ways An Introvert Says “I Love You”

Even the quiet ones love to love.

A lot of people are too quick to count out introverts as people who search for love, but introverts are human just like all of you over dramatic humans who don’t mind sharing your every thought. At times the quietness of an introvert is interpreted as rudeness, or that person appears to be standoffish. Because of these things, introverts are very quickly given a bad rap in the scheme of romance. Quiet does not mean loner; quiet does not mean unfriendly. Being an introvert isn’t a negative thing, or something to be ashamed of, but really is a gift that gives a different perspective on life. Introverts may not appear to be searching for love like everyone else, but truly they are. If you succeed and break through an introvert’s shell, you’ll earn their trust, friendship, and most importantly, their love. But when you’ve earned this love you may not know, because remember we are dealing with the introvert, and introverts hate to show their feelings. So how do you know if your introverted friend loves you? Well here are some tell-tale signs that will let you know.

1. We come to you with all of our problems.

Introverts are naturally known as the “quiet ones”. It would be easy to assume that all of us introverts are happy, go-lucky people because we are the last ones you will hear complain about anything. We like to keep our thoughts to ourselves unless they are absolutely needed or we are bursting at the seams, so if we come to you with a problem and want to discuss it with you, we must really trust you. Trust isn’t hard for an introvert to give; it’s just seldom necessary because we rely so heavily on ourselves. We are independent by nature because we do not want to burden others with our own problems, so asking you for help, and using you as a sounding board to our life’s story is our way of telling you we appreciate you, and we love you.

2. We will participate in extrovert things with you.

Participating in extrovert activities, like attending an event with more than 10 people we do not know (or an event with more than 10 people in general) is an act of true love, hands down. That’s that.

3. We make you a part of our “daily routine”.

Introverts are famous for loving their alone time. We like to have time to sit in the silence, think about our day, and process everything. Alone time is crucial to an introvert because this is when we reenergize and refuel ourselves, whereas the extrovert refuels from being around other people. If we invite you into our alone time and make you a part of that daily routine, we love you. Our alone time is crucial, so if you are a part of it, you are crucial as well.

4. We tell you what’s going on in our lives.

Introverts are naturally quiet people. We keep to ourselves and don’t ever feel like we need to share much of what is going on in our lives, so if we do share life details with you, it is a clear sign you are something special. As us introverts sit quietly, we notice those who notice us, and just naturally feel more exposed that we would like to. Sharing details and personal information with you is a big deal. Don’t write this gesture off as something small, because it is definitely not.

5. We give you feedback.

Just as it is hard for us to share our thoughts and opinions about our own lives, a lot of the time it is hard for us introverts to share our thoughts about your life. Introverts avoid conflict at all cost. Giving feedback is opening a door to conflict, so if we give you feedback about your life or things you’re involved in, it means we are investing ourselves. By giving you our opinion we are telling you we love you by being 100 percent honest. We are not the friends to just nod our heads and agree, but tell you something that may be hard to hear, and this is all out of love.

6. We will do anything to make you happy.

Acts of service are big among introverts. We aren’t very loud with our words, but we will do whatever we can to tell you we love you with our actions. Whether we know you need help getting ready for a big event so we pitch in to make it happen, or we just surprise you with coffee on a random Thursday morning, we are doing these things because we love you. Acts of service scream, “I love you” and introverts enjoy doing things for other, not because it makes themselves feel good, but because it brings joy to someone else. An introvert’s main goal is for everyone to be happy. We love to know our friends are having a good time and enjoying themselves, so we will do whatever we can to make sure this happens.

7. We lose our filter when we are around you.

Introverts are the lay-low type of people by definition. We don’t like to draw attention to ourselves, and very rarely let our guard down, but when we become comfortable with someone we become just like the extroverts of the world. Maybe its because we feel like we have to say all the jokes we’ve been storing up for years, or just need a good laugh. When we become comfortable in an environment there is no turning back, and the same goes with people. If we are comfortable around you we will do and say whatever we feel. This is an extreme sign of trust and love. If an introvert is willing to be their true self around you they must love you a whole lot.

Cover Image Credit: Familius

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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