While large crowds are expected at festivals, concerts, and sporting events, they never fell to get on my last nerve. Now, I'm aware that I am going to have to deal with drunk, stupid people anywhere I go, but it still blows my mind how ridiculous these crowds can get. Here's seven reasons I absolutely can't stand large crowds:
1. It's sketchy.
You know exactly what I'm talking about if you've ever walked Downtown Lafayette at 11 p.m. It's sketchy as hell. There's people all over the place, standing around, looking like something is about to pop off any second. Not only have I mastered my power walking, but I've mastered the art of weaving in and out of crowds so I don't have to stick around any longer than necessary. I'm not trying to end up on Worldstar Hip Hop.
2. I'm short; I can't see over anyone.
And I'm actually 5'4'', which isn't really that short. So I feel for you girls shorter than 5'4 that really feel like a 6-year-old lost in the Cajundome during a Boosie concert. I can't find anyone, ever. It's like you go to a festival or concert, and everyone all of a sudden becomes 6'5 NBA stars. Try navigating your way through a crowd when you have no idea what you're actually walking towards. Beware of light poles and doors.
3. I hate being bumped over and over again.
So obviously, getting bumped, pushed, and shoved numerous times is expected at any big event. But seriously, it still gets annoying, especially when you're sober. I already hate being touched as it is, and all these guys figure, "Oh, because it's packed, here's my chance to wrap myself around her like bacon on shrimp." No. Just no. Which brings me to #4.
4. People just wander aimlessly like lost sheep or stand in the middle of the sidewalk.
There wouldn't be so much traffic if people weren't standing in the middle of sidewalks for no reason at all. Literally, groups and groups of people hanging out against buildings for absolutely no reason except to get in the way of people actually trying to use the sidewalks. MOVE! Go somewhere else! Or don't get pissed when I step all over your new Yeezy's.
Then there's those people that have no idea where they are going. And I understand the point of festivals is to wander around and see everything, but geez! I'm willing to bet you've been to this festival before and you know what it has to offer...
5. Some of us have a target destination.
Look, I know I need to get to the Blue Dog Café tent for some Corn & Crab Bisque, so if you'll excuse me, I'd rather not take 45 minutes just to get there. Or I know I need a Legend's margarita to deal with this crowd, so please ever so kindly get out of my way.
6. I can't walk more than 10 feet without seeing someone I know.
No-brainer. You're bound to run into everybody's momma, boyfriend, and your third cousin, ole Johnny boy, at some point during this fiasco. While it is great to see you all, I don't have time to catch up on three years of my life. That Legend's margarita is calling my name.
7. I think I have a developing case of claustrophobia.
With every festival, concert or sporting event I go to, I tend to grow a little more claustrophobic. Not sure if it's that or my patience is just wearing thin. Either way, I'll continue to avoid large crowds as much as possible...until the next event rolls around.
