Last week was my spring break, while I went on a small vacation I also went back home to my small town for a few days. There was nothing really special about this visit home until I arrived and suddenly it didn't feel like home anymore. Yes, my family is here, my house is here and my entire childhood took place here, so why do I feel like just a visitor?
Driving down the back roads didn't feel the same, seeing my old hangout spots seemed foreign, and seeing people I attended school with for years felt like strangers. I had moved away almost eight months ago but I had been back a couple times and had always felt right back at home. Should I feel bad for not missing home? Or is this simply my way of trying to distance myself from my past?
I started to write down the differences between my two lives, one in Maryland and one in New York City. Only to realize that this is a list of the things that I miss about my hometown, but just don't seem normal anymore.
The Community Spirit
This may sound super cliche but it's honestly one of the best parts of living in a small town. I lived in a town where football was superior and our team was almost always undefeated. I use to love to spend my Friday nights at the stadium behind my high school, eating cheap pizza and watching our team beat our rival. Even if you weren't into football, you still went to the games and watched the homecoming parade, it was more than just a team to us, it was a family.
Our community was lucky enough to have this one thing that united everyone, it always felt so great to be a part of that. Now when I go home I see these teenagers driving out of the school parking lot and I always think about how I use to be them. Then I realize that kids in high school literally look like toddlers now and I feel like a fossil.
Social Circles
The common myth is that when you live in a small town, everyone knows everyone. This is true. Not only does everyone know everyone but they know all your business. Privacy is a privilege in a small town. Going along with this, everyone dates everyone. I never understood the people who date within their social circle and then they date their friends little sister or their best friends ex-girlfriend from two summers ago? It gets so confusing and sometimes people break up and rebound with someone so fast you don't even realize they started dating someone new. You could see Matt and Laura together in homeroom and by lunch time he's dating Cathy?!
Driving Around Aimlessly
Okay, now this I miss. There is nothing better than picking up your friends up, grabbing food, and driving around the town with music blaring until 2 a.m. Most of the time you don't even have a destination but it passes the time and instills a sense of freedom that is difficult to grasp. You can also drive across the entire town in like 15 minutes. Doing this on a summer night is a must.
The Night Sky
I really took this for granted. Enjoying the night sky even for a few seconds is a beautiful thing, and almost impossible in a big city. Stargazing doesn't come easy and it makes you think back to the days when you just sat outside and just had to look up to see the stars.
Restaurants
You know exactly which ones I'm talking about, the ones who know you, and your order by heart.
Being a Local
There is something very special about being a local in a small town. You know all the back roads and all the tricks of the town. You know the best places to eat and where all the police checkpoints hide. Also knowing that "downtown" is the one street in town with the cool little shops and cafes.
Growing Up
Even though I do not plan on ever moving back to my small town permanently, I really do love it. It's the reason that I am the person I am today. This is the town that built me. I met my best friends here, graduated here, fell in love here, learned to drive here and so much more. It shaped me in so many ways and I will always be proud to call it home.
