Ah, yes, college. College is this new place, all about meeting different types of people with various amounts of backgrounds. Although with all these different kinds of people, many of them are very similar. Some of these people are bitches and these bitches fall into categories. Don't get me wrong, the term "bitch" doesn't necessarily have a negative connotation. In this article, it is a term of endearment. I'm quite the fan of mixing things up by using negative words and making them positive.
So without further adieu, let's get started.
1. The Bad Bitch
The Bad Bitch does not have a single care in the world. She doesn't take anything from anybody. She's assertive, she's fun, and she scares you--yet somehow, it's in a good way. Everybody respects The Bad Bitch.
2. The Goody-Two-Shoes Bitch
Homegirl is the nicest bitch you’ll ever meet. (I know, it sounds like a contradiction, but just spare me, okay?) Anyway, this bitch doesn’t go out, drinks water at date parties, and has a smile sweeter than your grandmother’s famous apple pie. She's probably your sorority president. Or she'll be the First Lady one day. Probably both.
3. The Bitch You Want To Be
This bitch is the kind of girl who goes out every night, gets all the hottest boys to fall in love with her, and still makes her grades. She’s nominated for Junior Maid, she’s on the Executive Board of your sorority, and won Homecoming Queen senior year, and she can make everybody’s parents fall in love with her. The worst part about her is that she's really freaking nice. Ugh, so annoying.
4. The Funny Bitch
She lightens up everyone's mood. She makes everyone laugh. She's the bitch you glare at from across the room because you've never seen your boyfriend laugh so hard in his life. Why doesn't he laugh that hard with you? Sad! But she's not a threat because she's only in it for the laughs. She doesn't take anything too seriously, except her life-long dream of being on Saturday Night Live.
5. The Actual Bitch
This bitch is the only bitch I will speak about negatively. She's mean, sometimes she's not even pretty, she never says thank you when you hold the door for her, and she blows you off every time you try to speak to her. She throws around Daddy's money like her life depends on it. And yet after all these negative aspects, people still respect her. Weird, right?
6. The Granola Bitch
Have any of you ever heard of the term "granola"? My beautiful friend Urban Dictionary describes the term as "an adjective used to describe people who are environmentally aware (flower child, tree-hugger), open-minded, left-winged, socially aware and active, queer or queer-positive, anti-oppressive/discriminatory (racial, sexual, gender, class, age, etc.) with an organic and natural emphasis on living." I know you know at least one of these bitches. She wears beanies in the summer time, she goes hiking for fun, she never wears makeup, and she's a vegan.
7. The Nerdy Bitch
She stays home on the weekends because of a paper due in a month. She doesn’t go to the first date party because she has a genetics test the next morning at 9AM. She’s going to medical school or law school and makes you feel guilty because you’re catching up on episodes of The Bachelor on a Tuesday night. This bitch is going to be rich af.
So there you have it! The seven different types of bitches you will most likely meet in college. If you can't relate to this article you obviously go to a weird college where no one socializes, and frankly, I pity you.
