Whenever I discuss the summer blockbuster "Captain America: Civil War" with any of my friends, I stumble upon an embarrassing psychological discovery. Given the choice between Captain America's team, a side who continues to fight despite extreme opposition, and Iron Man's team, a group who lets the government keep the super heroes in check, I respond with this:
"I really want to say I would choose Cap's side. I would want to decide my actions and not have the government choose for me. But if I attended the meeting where the heroes picked a side, and I knew over 100 countries wanted the government to control my actions . . . I would've chosen Iron Man's team."
A rule-follower at heart who feels the desperate need to make others feel happy, I present some confessions that render me obsequious:
1. I cannot say "no."
Or I have difficulty doing so. Whenever I declare the bold "no," I can almost feel the cringe on the requester's face. I find myself in situations where I have over committed myself because I struggle to decline offers.
2. I hate rejection or criticism.
One of the reasons I hesitated to write this article is because I knew I might receive some flack. Whenever I receive a rejection slip in the mail or a graded paper dripping with scarlet ink, a little part of my heart withers.
3. I will not speak my mind as often as I should.
Or I will water down any brash statements. I fear whenever I say anything remotely dauntless I will receive odd stares, loss of friendships, and worst of all -- the dreaded silence that swallows the room.
4. I have deleted posts that received no likes.
This qualifies as one of my most embarrassing confessions. Even though deep down I know this isn't the case, if I receive no affirmation on a post, I wonder if people dislike me or wish I would stop posting altogether.
5. I say "sorry" way too much, even for things that aren't my fault.
Whether my dad has a backache, or my friend dropped her iPhone on the ground next to me, the five-letter curse word slips out of my mouth.
6. I hate confrontation.
My Christian Relationships teacher compared my style of how I deal with contact to a turtle. Whenever the hint of a dispute barrels my way, I slip back into my shell and wait for the cross-fire to end.
7. I am working to eliminate each of the above confessions.
Steadily, I've learned not everyone will like me. Not everyone will agree with my opinions and beliefs . . . but that doesn't mean I should never voice my opinion.
From now on, I vow to keep the posts which receive no reactions - - or worse, heavy criticism. I will say "no" to the activities that will drain me beyond my capabilities. I will take conflict in stride, and let rejection motivate me to continue to produce articles.
And of course, I choose Captain America's team.
