I've always been really good about having confidence in myself, and it's something that I wish I could share with other women who are insecure about themselves. When I hear a woman put herself down, it not only breaks my heart, but it frustrates me because it's something that comes so easily for me. But I know that many women struggle with it, and I have to be sensitive to that. So I've made a list of the things I think women can do in order to take steps toward being more confident:
1. Work out.
This doesn't mean that if you struggle with your weight that working out will make you skinnier or that you should lose weight to feel confident. Working out just makes you feel good about yourself in general. And I know that not everyone likes to work out, but there are so many options for you to release those endorphins that it's possible for you to find something you like to do. This also doesn't mean that it has to be super time-consuming; all it takes is 15 or 30 minutes for those endorphins to trigger that positive feeling.
2. Do whatever makes you feel sexy.
This could be getting all dressed up in a leather leotard and fishnets to go to a nightclub, or it could be sitting on the couch in your baggiest sweats with a bag of popcorn watching a movie. Feeling sexy is different for everyone, so you shouldn't try to imitate doing what makes other women feel good because that might not work for you. If wearing a crop top that shows your stomach makes you feel sexy, do it and don't hold back. Don't pay attention to what people have to say about what you wear; nobody should dictate how you feel your best.
3. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you're beautiful.
You may not believe it for the first few days, months, or even years, but I promise you it will eventually pay off. You can even take it a step further and leave yourself a post-it note or write a little message in lipstick on your mirror to help remind you that you're beautiful. Seeing those words everyday will seep into your subconscious until you finally consciously believe it.
4. Remember why your friends like you.
Sometimes when you're being really hard on yourself, it's hard to think of any reasons to be confident. Just know that you have friends and family behind you who love to be around you. There might be something you don't like about yourself that other people adore about you and are envious of. Whatever it is you're self conscious about, it makes you unique.
5. Remember that you are a whole human being.
When you're low on self confidence, it's easy to blame that on not having a partner or a "second half." You don't need anyone to make you feel complete because you are a whole human being already. Harboring this kind of mindset that something is missing in your life if you don't have a partner will lead to less fulfilling relationships, because you'll only be concerned with having a partner in order to fill a void. Your future relationship will be much more gratifying if it is between two whole people rather than two halves who are dependent on each other. As a result, you will be more independent until that person comes along because you'll realize you only need yourself (and no, this does not mean you'll become a cat lady.)
6. Step out of your comfort zone.
If you don't like eating alone in public, try grabbing a quick slice of pizza and eat it on your way home from work one day. You don't have to take a giant step, but doing something that scares you will allow you to overcome it and be more confident about it for next time. A lot of times people with low self esteem also have trouble being independent, and independence and confidence go hand in hand. If you can do something that forces you to be independent, you can build the confidence that you're capable of being by yourself without the presence of others (such as a significant other.)
I wish I could gift my confidence to other women because having confidence truly frees yourself of the war of anxieties in your mind. It allows you to meet and connect with more people, feel beautiful in your skin, and let your soul be free so that your energy can positively affect those around you. You'll see the impact you have on other people and be someone that other women can look up to. I urge women with insecurities and low self confidence to try these tips, because I want you to accept, embrace, and love yourself for who you are.
